Death Eater Dialectics
by AnotherAldebaran
Summary: In which Hermione and Severus investigate "the power the Dark Lord knows not" and test an unexpected hypothesis to end the war. AU (by quite a lot), alternative 7th year/post Hogwarts, mostly crack. And just what does popcorn have to do with it? HGSS, eventually. Now complete!
1. Thesis: In Which Severus Talks Too Much

**A/N: **This is a not very long crackfic. Most everyone is alive. Assume 7th year at Hogwarts, Voldy hasn't been defeated yet. AU, naturally. Book 7 didn't happen and neither did most of Book 6, come to think of it. Hum. Hopefully those changes will be self-explanatory as we go along.

There are some very obvious similarities to Shiv5468's story Big Name Death Eater in the first chapter but we're heading off in a completely different direction from here on out, pinky promise. I couldn't resist using that story as a sort of prompt, it's very funny by the way. The story is complete, so sit back and enjoy the ride!

/AA

***x*x*x*x***

**Thesis: In Which Severus Talks Too Much**

Severus Snape was not having a good day. In fact, he was most definitely having a Bad Day. Although it was a Friday, which was usually good since it was one day closer to the weekend, it was still a weekday with Potions classes where the kids did their best to get themselves killed, as usual. He'd been able to take fifty points off Gryffindor from the fifth-year and third-year classes, which was good, but then even his Slytherins had misbehaved and forced him to take five points off his own house for getting caught, which was most definitely bad. The fourth-years had no style and he couldn't exactly ignore it when they made blatant plans to poison the whole school, in his own class even. To top things off, the house-elves had served Toad-in-the-hole for dinner. Severus _hated_ toad-in-the-hole ever since his first time he got completely plastered in his sixth year, which happened to be after a Hogwarts dinner where they had served said dish. He'd spent the better part of the night throwing up the remains, and ever since then he refused to eat it. As such, he hadn't eaten much before his left forearm burned with the summons to attend his other Master.

The war had mostly stalled after that hare-brained Ministry raid two years prior, when Potter nearly managed to get his godfather killed along with getting some of his friends badly injured, including both Weasley Jr and Miss Granger. Too bad, Severus had grumbled when he heard of the mangy dog's survival, and Molly would have boxed him over the ears if it weren't for his quick reflexes. For some reason the sight of the Dark Lord duelling Albus in the foyer actually convinced people that the evil bastard was back, and the Ministry workers had rallied to put up resistance with Amelia Bones, Arthur Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Alastor Moody as the front figures. Albus had grumbled about it for a full week, complaining about his plans being derailed and the Order not being brought to order, even if he put up his usual twinkly façade whenever anyone came close. At any rate, the following nearly two years had been relatively peaceful since the Dark Lord wasn't able to get a proper foothold in the Ministry.

Severus had Apparated to Malfoy Manor, where he and the rest of the Inner Circle had spent three hours listening to the Dark Lord rambling while drinking a bit too much of Lucius' elf-made champagne. If only the self-appointed evil overlord could get to the point! He was worse than Albus when it came to holding long faculty meetings and being enamoured with his own voice. The others had reported on various activities and he himself had managed to get the Dark Lord's approval for his alleged attempts at brewing an invulnerability potion, which of course was nonsense. All the concoction would do if anyone were to drink it would be to give them horrible gas and a strong urge to sing opera arias.

After the meeting, when the Dark Lord finally fell asleep in his chair and Bellatrix took him back to his rooms together with the snake and the rat, the old guard with the usual suspects had met in Lucius' study for some drinks and debriefing where they plotted what to tell him next time. That would have been fine, had Lucius not also brought out the deck of cards.

Severus groaned again and clung to a nearby birch as he waited for the world to stop spinning after Apparating, squeezing his eyes shut against the harsh glare from the magical lanterns atop what he hoped was the Hogwarts gates. To top it all off, Lucius' bloody peacocks had attacked him on the way back to the Manor's Apparition point. Apparently they didn't like Avery's singing. Not that he blamed them, the wizard couldn't hold a tune worth a penny, but he found it most unfair that the overgrown chickens would attack him too for trying to correct his occasional almost-friend's tunes. His robes were torn, he had a gash down his cheek and to make matters even worse he had stubbed a toe on one of the marble statues in Malfoy's garden, which caused him to limp.

It took him a couple of tries to get the password right for the gates, but eventually they opened for him to stumble in under the grand portal. The ground seemed to spin and sway, all the colours of the night blending together before the cool grass came up to meet him. It smelled… well, grassy. Wet with the first promise of spring. He burped which caused other, worse, smells to assault his nose, and he had to breathe slowly and focus on not throwing up. Where was he, again? And who was he, exactly?

The sound of rapid footsteps on gravel gradually intruded on his peaceful introspection on the damp lawn. Couldn't he even get a moment of peace and solitude and let Lucius' alcohol and creatively applied curses wear off on their own? He'd be in no state to report to the Headmaster tonight, Merlin only knew what he might blurt out in this stage.

"Professor?" a female voice gasped, and someone knelt in front of him. "Oh no, are you hurt? Shall I get Madam Pomfrey?"

Black school robes laced with Gryffindor colours swam in his vision before their owner lowered herself down to his level. He tried to get his eyes to focus on the brown blur in front of him but their three — one — four eyes were too hard to follow as they moved in and out of focus.

"No!" he managed, still trying to work out who she might be. There must be a clue somewhere, she knew who he was apparently, which was more than he did at present.

"But you're bleeding?" she said.

"My quarters," he insisted. He knew that much at least. He had quarters, somewhere.

"Can you walk?" the annoyingly interfering voice asked.

He staggered to his feet and immediately regretted it when the nausea came surging back with a vengeance, drenching him in cold sweat. After throwing up against a bush he wiped his mouth and felt marginally better. His self-appointed helper Vanished the mess and took his arm over her shoulder, leading him up towards the castle.

As she led him down to the dungeons the fog in his brain slowly lifted and he managed to work out who she was. _Miss Granger. Of course. Head Girl, Order wannabe, the brains and librarian of the Golden Trio. Who else? And I__'m apparently, still, Severus Snape, resident Dungeon Bat of Hogwarts. Bugger. _He guided her to his own chambers and managed to focus enough to get the door to recognise his touch, allowing him to stumble in and sprawl inelegantly on his dark brown leather couch by the fire, narrowly missing hitting his shins on the coffee table.

"Oooooooh," someone moaned. It might even have been him. The room was spinning.

"Professor? How are you? You're … you're bleeding, sir, can't I get Madam Pomfrey for you?"

"No, not Poppy," he managed again, annoyed that she couldn't just leave him alone, like everyone always did. Drat. He'd have to forsake the buzz of the Malfoy vineyards, since for some reason which currently eluded him he was rather certain that he shouldn't very well let students see him completely sloshed. Vaguely he conceded that it was already too late for that, but sighed and cracked an eye open. She stood next to his couch, fretting uselessly. "Accio blue potion in my bedside drawer," he enunciated slowly but swore when the bottle merely thumped against his bedroom door and clattered to the floor.

At least Miss Head Girl Granger was of some use as she immediately went to fetch the potion for him. He gingerly sat up with a groan, pinching his eyes shut as he accepted the vial from her and downed the potion in one gulp, grimacing at the bitter taste. Soon he could feel the pleasant haze of alcohol receding, giving way to the usual headaches and other unpleasantries that followed the Sober-Up potion, and unfortunately one couldn't use any other healing potions for a few hours after taking it without suffering even worse side effects. He winced and pinched the bridge of his nose. Drat. Now he'd be fully affected by Lucius' insidious curse instead.

"Not a word of this to anyone, Miss Granger," he said sternly and fixed her with his best glare, one that he'd spent years perfecting.

She bit her lip and shook her head vigorously, for once forgoing the incessant questions.

"You're bleeding, sir," she stammered again and reached out a hand towards him.

With a groan he shrugged out of the dark Death Eater robes and noticed to his surprise that he did appear to be bleeding from somewhere. Blasted birds, Lucius owed him a new set of robes and one of the nasty meddling chickens served on a platter for dinner. With a muttered wandless charm he opened the buttons on his frock coat and struggled to pull his arms free.

"Here, let me help you," she said and stepped closer, trying to be useful by pulling on one of his coat sleeves. Eventually he was free of it and dumped it carelessly on the floor next to the couch. He slumped forward, resting his head in his hands, trying to cradle the headache that was hammering away at his temple.

"Do you have any Dittany here, sir?" she asked, clearly not giving up.

This time he had better luck with the Summoning and the bottle shot into his waiting hand even without him looking at it. She gingerly took it from him and told him to tilt his head back while she unstoppered the vial and placed a hand on his forehead to steady him as she carefully directed a few drops to the gash on his cheek. Her touch felt oddly nice and despite the sting of the Essence of Dittany he found himself relaxing against her hand.

"Did they hurt you badly, sir?" she asked softly.

His eyes snapped open, seeking hers, and it took him a moment to realise what she'd been asking. "What, Miss Granger? No, it was just poker. Lucius cheated as usual, the bastard. Now I have a headache."

She frowned, clearly not believing him, but after checking that he didn't have any other bleeding wounds she hesitantly moved her hand to his temple and gently started rubbing it in circles. Someone groaned, it might even have been him. It felt divine, having her touch him like that.

"Did that help, Professor?" Hermione asked anxiously.

"Try it again, I'm not quite sure," he managed to say, quite pleased with himself for hedging it.

She moved in front of the couch and suddenly he found himself nose-to-button with a bosomful of, well, bosom, frankly, while she put both hands in his hair and started rubbing his scalp, sending shivers all the way down to his toes. The demure white blouse she wore was unbuttoned just enough for him to be able to see the tops of her breasts, a quite nice view indeed. Round and firm and if he was any judge, just the right size for his hands to cup.

"You have nice tits. Why haven't I noticed that before?"

She pulled away from him and looked at him oddly. Didn't she believe him?

"Oh, yes," he said happily. "Very very nice. I should like to get better awk… acu… acquainted with them, you know."

"You would?!" she squeaked. "Erm… Professor Snape, just exactly what did that poker game include?"

He waved a hand in her general direction, barely missing her chest. Drat. He'd been aiming for her left tit. "Lucius, the bastard, primed the cards with a slow-release version of the Unhibition Curse," he enunciated carefully. Normally, he would never have fallen for such a simple trick, but the copious amounts of drink he'd had beforehand coupled with the lack of dinner had tripped him up. The curse caused the victim to lose their inhibitions, saying and doing things that they normally never would, and for one such as himself with so many layers of secrets it was quite dangerous. It had been kept in check by his state of inebriation but now that he, unfortunately, was sober again, the curse was given free reign of his tongue.

"Oh, I see, sir," she said slowly. "But you retaliated, of course?"

He frowned at her. "Naturally, who do you take me for? I managed to sneak off to his rooms and cast a Pea Jinx on his bed. He won't be able to sleep comfortably for weeks, thinking there's a pea under the mattress."

She giggled which caused him to chuckle which in turn caused her to laugh harder and say something about Malfoy and mattresses and fairy tales which had him burst out in a deep belly laugh too. It felt oddly nice but he was a bit unaccustomed to such emotions. Still, Miss Granger was rather lovely when she laughed. He might have told her as much. Although he hadn't really thought about it before it was true. She was, all in all, a rather intriguing witch. He told her that, too.

"Um, Professor? I think you should go to bed and sleep off the worst of the curse," she stammered, blushing. "It should wear off after a couple of hours, right?"

"I should report to the Headmaster," he answered reluctantly. Albus would want to know what they'd been up to, or at least the heavily edited version, with more angst and torture and with markedly less alcohol and card games.

"Tomorrow."

"… Tomorrow."

He groaned and rose slowly. His head was still pounding, causing him to press a hand against his temple to try to stop whoever was hammering spikes through it to stop. She quickly slipped under his other arm to steady him and together they made their way to his bedroom. He flopped unceremoniously into bed, on his stomach, and Banished his clothes with a muttered spell, leaving him in only his underpants. She tucked him in and ran a hand through his hair, causing shivers to run down his spine again. He wasn't used to that kind of touch but quickly decided that he wouldn't mind more of that, thankyouverymuch.

"You know what I'm missing, right now?" he murmured.

"What is it now, Professor?"

"A witch in my bed," he said with a yawn. "My feet are cold."

"… Right. Good night, Professor."

~~oo~oo~oo~oo~~

Although he was deep in the bowels of the Castle, his enchanted bedroom window still woke him up with the harsh glare of spring sunlight since he had apparently forgotten to draw the curtains shut the night before. His bladder made itself known and he stumbled to the bathroom to sort himself out while events of the prior day and evening gradually started to filter back to his mind. There had been teaching, and then the Dark Lord … and Lucius … and … _Oh. I didn__'t, did I? Surely not!_

By the time he had gotten dressed, in slacks (black), a shirt (white) and a v-neck cashmere jumper (black), he had almost managed to convince himself that Miss Granger must have been a hallucination. He would never be completely plastered in the presence of a student and he would most certainly not tell the Gryffindor Princess that she had nice tits or that she should jump into bed with him. Feeling slightly more upbeat and thinking about what to tell Albus about the Death Eater meeting he entered his sitting room and froze at the sight of said student asleep on his couch, her bushy brown hair spread messily over the armrest and the green tartan plaid Minerva had given him a few Christmases ago half covering her body. She had kicked off her shoes and removed her outer robe but he could still see the contours of her breasts through her blouse. They still looked rather nice.

Swallowing audibly and forcing himself to look away from her body he stalked over to the Floo and asked the House-Elves to bring them some tea and breakfast. The noise caused her to wake with a start and she sat up, looking slightly confused before she spotted him, and blushed. Clearly she too remembered, then. Drat.

"Erm…" she said, stifling a yawn with her hand.

"Miss Granger," he said stiffly.

"Could I use your bathroom, sir?" she asked, blushing again.

He nodded and gave her directions, relieved to be alone for a minute to gather his thoughts. Why had she stayed? What was he to do with her, now? What would she tell people?

She returned with her hair marginally under control and some water droplets on her blouse, and took a few hesitant steps towards him. "Are you alright now, sir?"

He nodded and was luckily saved from more questions by the arrival of a House-Elf with tea and a tray full of breakfast items for them both. They settled down at his dark walnut dining table, clearing a space among the parchments and books for the plates, and settled down to eat in tense silence. He ought to say something, but what? Uneasily he cleared his throat. "About last night … I apologise for my inappropriate comments about your person, Miss Granger."

She blushed a beet red and cast her eyes down, busying herself with her eggs and toast. "Um, it's alright, Professor, I've read about that curse and it's not as if you'd planned for me to be here."

"No, why were you, Miss Granger?" He raised an eyebrow at her, grateful for the change in topics. Of course she'd know about the curse.

"I'd just herded some third-years back inside from the gardens when I heard a noise by the gates and went to check. And then I was worried about you, I couldn't very well leave you alone like that, Professor!"

Her statement confused him. Of course she could have left him alone, whyever not? Everyone always did, why couldn't she?

"Do I have to tell you to keep things to yourself?" he asked, glaring at her.

"Not a word, pinky promise," she said and poured some more tea for both of them. "I don't usually gossip, Professor."

He relaxed slightly and nodded, grabbing a boiled egg. For some reason he was quite hungry that morning. It was also rather nice for a change to have breakfast together with someone but away from the Great Hall where he always felt on display to the whole school and with the noise of too many students assaulting his ears. They lapsed into silence but at least most of the tension seemed to have disappeared. Yes, he thought, she was actually better company than he'd have expected.

The witch broke the silence. "So is that what you do during those meetings, sir? I must admit, I had a slightly different picture in mind than poker and pranks."

He shrugged and took a bite of his toast. "Well, various people are asked to report on whatever evil deeds they've been up to since last meeting, the Dark Lord usually rambles on about blood superiority and the Good Old Days for way too long until he gets tired and nods off in his chair, and then some of us usually meet up for drinks to cook up some new tales for the next meeting."

She giggled again before getting serious again, fixing him with those large brown eyes of hers. "But surely there must be a bit more to it than that? I mean, given everything that's happened?"

He nodded. "Yes, the Lestranges, Dolohov, Travers, Wormtail and Greyback plus a few others are people you don't want to meet in a dark alley, or come to think of it not in a well lit alley either, but Cenric Goyle would much rather spend his days tending his garden than kneeling in the mud pretending to hate everything and everyone, Lucius is tired of the drain on his finances and prefers fashion to torture, Gawain Avery has a sister who married a Muggle and has made a complete turnaround since his niece was born, and several others are also simply tired of the whole thing. Their fortunes are at stake, after all, and if you want to hit a Malfoy or Nott where it hurts you go after their Gringotts vaults."

She gaped at him, apparently at a loss for words for the first time in recorded history. He smirked at her, who knew it was that easy to get her to be quiet?

Somehow his rooms felt both smaller and colder when she'd left.

~~oo~oo~oo~oo~~

He didn't bother reporting anything to Albus and stayed in his quarters until lunchtime when he reluctantly made his way up to the Great Hall. His usual seat next to Albus was, unfortunately, still free.

"Severus, how was the meeting?"

He sighed and turned towards his employer who twinkled at him over the soup they were served for lunch. "Albus. You think this is the right time?"

Albus raised his eyebrows. Too bad they were so bushy, the effect was rather lessened by how high he had to hitch them up in order to see anything underneath. "As you didn't show up yesterday, I presumed you would have nothing to hide."

"I was in no shape to report anything to anyone last night," Severus muttered, glaring at his employer who nodded, twinkled some more and told him to come up to the Headmaster's office right away, and what did he think of chocolate toffee?

As he made his way back down the stairs from another mainly fruitless meeting with Albus where the old man had insisted that Potter needed more time, that the Dark Lord would invade Hogwarts and they should stage a massive battle, and that of course Severus ought to spend his nights being tortured for the Cause, he was in a pensive mood for other reasons. His mind kept returning to one thing Miss Granger had asked just before she left his quarters earlier that morning. _"But, sir, if so many on that side also want an end to this, why are we still fighting?" _


	2. Antithesis: In Which Hermione Talks

**Antithesis: In Which Hermione Talks Too Much**

The end of the school year was finally upon them with only a few days to go until the formal end-of-year dinner and graduation ceremony. As tradition dictated, the seventh-year students had thrown an illicit party the evening of their last NEWT examination. As usual, the students seemed to think they were the first to ever come up with such a brilliant idea, and as usual, the Professors knew all about the plans they were supposed to be ignorant of. Still, also as tradition dictated, they turned a blind eye to the antics as long as everything was reasonably under control and no younger students were involved.

Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he ended the Floo call with Pomona. This year, things were most definitely not under control. Pomona had called for backup as her Hufflepuffs were running amok armed with various Weasley products, the Ravenclaws were either brawling in the Great Hall or singing raucous songs just outside their common room since apparently none of them were sober enough to answer the riddle at the door, the Gryffindors were of course having some kind of drinking competition in an abandoned room near the Charms classroom, and his own Slytherins had apparently spent the last couple of months brewing all kinds of liquor that they were selling to the others. At least they were showing entrepreneurial spirit, he thought sourly.

He stalked up towards the Great Hall, robes billowing menacingly behind him in a well-practised fashion. Just ahead in the corridor leading to the Slytherin common room he spotted two students snogging in an alcove, an open bottle of Firewhisky standing precariously close to their entwined legs.

"Five points from Slytherin, Miss Davis, for getting caught, and ten points from Slytherin, Mr Goyle, for forcing your own Head of House to take points from you," he snapped. The students sprung apart and would have knocked the bottle over if he hadn't Vanished it with a snap of his fingers before moving on briskly, not bothering to stop.

He quickly surveyed the chaos in the Great Hall. Luckily, Minerva had already arrived and managed to freeze all the combatants in place and was now threatening to Transfigure all of them into toads if they didn't immediately stop fighting. Filius was also there, wringing his hands and trying to duck flying furniture. With a nod at the diminutive Ravenclaw Head of House, he turned around and continued up towards the Hufflepuff dormitories, scattering a few younger students along the way. Luckily Pomona had things well in hand by the time he arrived, although the sweet haze of something suspiciously herbal lingered outside the entrance to the Hufflepuff dorms and a few of them stared at him with vacant eyes, almost smiling, a most unnerving experience. Oh well, if it made the little brats behave he wouldn't go off blabbing to Albus. Nodding at the Herbology teacher he turned around again and made for the Charms corridor where he Disillusioned himself just before turning the corner, keen to see what the Gryffindors were up to before he crashed their little party.

The students were sitting in a circle on the floor of an unused classroom, surrounded by a veritable mountain of pillows similar to those Filius used in Charms class. Soft jazz music was playing from an unseen source, and lit candles and magical lamps cast a soft glow over the room. Several empty bottles and shot glasses were scattered around them, but at least they were reasonably quiet. A few Ravenclaws and even a couple Slytherins were also there, he saw to his surprise, including Theo Nott and Blaise Zabini. As they were all wearing casual clothes, not school uniforms, it took him a moment to identify them all.

"Never have I ever… snogged someone of the same sex," Miss Dunbar, a Gryffindor seventh-year, said while holding the glass rod they used as Truth-Teller for the game to ensure that the person giving the statement didn't cheat. Miss Brown drank her shot, as did Mr Thomas, Mr Zabini and Mr Longbottom to the general sniggers of the others.

Miss Patil was next up. "Never have I ever… stolen something," she said. This time almost all of them drank, including the Potter brat and Miss Granger. He smirked, he well remembered her stunt with Polyjuice where she had stolen ingredients from his stores. Seeing her as a cat in the Infirmary was his best Christmas gift in years, even if he'd had to spend a few days brewing an antidote for her.

"Never have I ever … had a crush on a Professor," Miss Brown stated.

Nearly all the girls drank to that, and some of the boys too, he noted. The glass rod in Miss Brown's hand turned red, however, and she dropped it with a squeak.

"Oooo!" went the room and Miss Brown protested but was forced to drink her shot and an extra for penalties.

"Remember Lockhart, Lav?" Miss Patil said and broke down in giggles.

"Damn, I had forgotten about him!" Miss Brown said.

"Me too," Miss Granger exclaimed and blushed. _Interesting, so she wasn__'t thinking of him,_ he mused before abruptly catching himself, why would he care who she fancied?

Potter took the rod after everyone's shot glasses were refilled. To Severus' surprise, the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Annoy didn't choose to make a statement indicating his sexual prowess, skill in battle or anything similar.

"Never have I ever … been to an amusement park," the boy said instead.

Miss Granger emptied her glass right away as did a few others, but some of the Pure-bloods looked around in confusion. After a bit of a discussion they agreed that magical fairs also counted since they too had magical rides for children, and so a few others also emptied their shots.

Mr Nott went next. He was seated right across from the doorway and seemed to have some trouble coming up with something.

"Never have I ever … wanted to snog … Professor Snape?" Nott said, eyes widening as he apparently spotted Severus across the room, his Disillusionment gone. He smirked and raised an eyebrow at his student before melting back into the shadows. Nott gulped and gave a very brief nod, keeping his Head of House's presence a secret to the others.

"Ooooo!" went the room again.

To Severus' surprise, some of the girls drank to that, including both Miss Patil and Miss Granger, and Miss Turpin from Ravenclaw. Unfortunately, both Zabini and Longbottom also emptied their shots which made him shudder.

"Eww, 'Mione, you want to snog the dungeon bat but not me?" Weasley Jr said angrily, sitting up straighter.

Miss Granger crossed her arms in front of her and glared at the ginger brat. "Shut up, Ron! Just because I don't want your limp tongue down my throat, or any other limp body parts of yours! Keep them to yourself! I'm not your property!"

That had him smirking. _Well said, Miss Granger. _

"Come on, why are you so cold, 'Mione? Don't you want the chance to shag someone before meeting You-Know-Who? I only wanted to help even if you'd be a lousy shag, it's the only chance you'll get anyway!"

Miss Granger shot up while the rest of the room erupted in outrage, mostly in Miss Granger's favour, he noted. "Ronald Bilius Weasley," she hissed with her hands on her hips. "If you and I were the last people on Earth I still wouldn't shag you. I thought we were friends but you're just trying to get into my knickers!" She turned to Miss Brown instead while Potter harshly pulled Mr Weasley aside. "Lavender, I have no idea what you see in him, but if you want him with all bits functional I suggest you keep him on a tight leash with a ball gag."

"Good idea, don't worry Hermione, he won't forget how stupid he's been for a long time," the other girl said, glaring at her boyfriend.

Miss Granger nodded at the blonde girl and stormed out of the room without noticing her Professor's presence by the doorway. Severus had to decide what to do, but Mr Nott had obviously noted his presence and so far they weren't out of bounds for a final night at Hogwarts, so he made up his mind to let them continue. After another round of Slytherin house's patented glares and eyebrow lifts in Nott's general direction he turned on his heel and stalked off after Miss Granger who had run off faster than he'd expected her to considering those high heels she was wearing.

He caught up with her in the entrance hall where she'd collapsed in a messy heap on the stairs, her light blue summer dress riding halfway up her thigh. At first he thought she was crying but as he got closer it was clear that she was giggling although the source of her mirth was completely indecipherable.

"Hellooooo," she said and looked up at him with a goofy smile before breaking down in giggles again. She was lying on her back, looking up at the ceiling. It didn't look particularly comfortable.

"Miss Granger, exactly how drunk are you?" he asked with a raised eyebrow that didn't have any effect whatsoever. She was way past eyebrows. Probably even past scowls. No point wasting a good scowl on someone who wouldn't appreciate it, was there?

"You have lovely eyelashes, you know," she said with a soppy smile. "Lavender would be so jealous. Ron doesn't have nice lashes at all."

Definitely past scowls, he decided. Eyelashes? Who in the world cared about eyelashes? He'd never understand the minds of witches. He stepped closer to her and reached down a hand to pull her up. She managed to grasp onto his hand on the second try and stood up on wobbly legs. She smiled at him again and would have toppled over sideways had he not steadied her with a hand on her upper arm.

"What were you drinking?" he tried again but she merely smiled at him and giggled again. It was pointless when she was at this stage and she shouldn't be wandering the halls alone like that. With the current chaos reigning everywhere else in the Castle Poppy was also likely busy, and for some reason he didn't feel like handing her over to Minerva, either. "Come along," he told her and started to steer her down towards the dungeons. Luckily she followed without question, although she had to cling to his arm for stability. It did feel nice, oddly enough.

"You know, you remind me of someone, you know that?" she suddenly said and stopped in her tracks, looking up at him with wide eyes. "My Po… Potions teacher back in school. He was a bit of a grump but I had such a crush on him all my final year. He had wonderful hands, you know, and that voice… I always had to bring a spare pair of knickers to change after class." She broke down in giggles again.

He winced and tried futilely not to think of the state of Miss Hermione Granger's knickers. Luckily they had arrived at his door and he could busy himself with settling the inebriated witch on his couch and fetch her some water. He did have Sober-Up potion in his cupboard but since the side effects of that potion were rather harsh it was often better to settle for a Hangover potion the next morning instead and let the body deal with the alcohol the usual way.

The witch sat up straight on the couch as he returned with the water. Their hands touched when she took the glass, holding it with two hands, and the ghost of her touch lingered on his skin.

"Sir, what if 'the power the Dark Lord knows not' isn't about love or anything silly like that?" she suddenly asked, wide eyes fixed on his. "What if it's something else?"

He shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine but I never held much stock in that idea of Albus'," he admitted.

She rose unsteadily to her feet again and put the glass on the side table. "Where's the loo?"

He led her to his bathroom, waiting outside to hear if she needed assistance, but it didn't seem like she needed to throw up.

"Do you think he's ever laughed? I mean, properly, not at someone else's expense?" she asked dreamily when she got back from the bathroom. She looked completely stoned, frankly, a goofy smile on her face as she tilted back her head to look at him down her cute little nose. He frowned, where had that thought come from?

"Miss Granger. Has Miss Lovegood given you something?" he asked sharply. "Or did someone slip you a product by the Weasley twins?"

"Nooooo," she said, drawing it out and ending in a fit of giggles.

She settled on the couch again while he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This would be a long night.

"Ronald Weasley is a first-class idiot!" she suddenly exclaimed and sat up straight, glaring at him. "Just because I didn't want to kiss him doesn't mean… doesn't mean…" She ended the sentence with a yawn.

"No, of course not," he agreed. "Please finish your glass of water, Miss Granger."

She downed all of it, burped rather impressively, and promptly keeled over sideways as she fell asleep. He cast a couple of diagnostic charms on her to see if she was in need of more immediate care, pulled Minerva's tartan plaid over her and left a new glass of water and the vial of Hangover potion for her on the table before going to bed.

~~oo~oo~oo~oo~~

The next morning he was a bit confused by the groans of misery coming from his sitting room until he recalled the events of the prior evening. For some reason, the sound made him feel rather … happy? Was that it? Either because someone else was embarrassed and miserable, or perhaps even because there was someone in his quarters, for once? He got dressed and entered the sitting room where the young witch appeared completely dishevelled, her hair like a crow's nest, her dress rumpled and stained, and makeup smeared over half her face. The Hangover potion vial was emptied, at least. When she saw him in the doorway she inhaled sharply, bit her lip and blushed while he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Erm…"

"Indeed. Good morning, Miss Granger."

She squeaked something unintelligible and rushed off to the bathroom again while he contacted the kitchen elves for breakfast. It seemed the eyebrow had worked, this time.

There was a thought nagging him in the back of his mind, a stray comment she'd made yesterday which he couldn't quite make sense of.

"Do you remember what you said yesterday?" he asked and peeled an egg.

She blushed again, rather prettily. "Um … maybe?"

He smirked, he did remember her comments about him, too. "No, I was thinking about your comments regarding the Dark Lord, rather."

She frowned and nodded slowly. "Yes, Harry mentioned that he'd never been to an amusement park and that had me thinking, you know, You-Know-Who can't ever have been to one either. Wouldn't it be quite hard to be a megalomanic despot when you're having fun? Has he ever laughed at something that wasn't at someone else's expense? I think I recall reading some old Muggle folk tales about monsters that disappear when you laugh, although that was probably supposed to be directed at the monsters."

While she busied herself with her toast and tea he thought about it. After a while he became aware of some odd sounds coming from the other side of the table. Was she actually giggling, again? What was _wrong_ with the witch, why did she do that all the time? Finally she noticed his pointed glare which, again, seemed to have lost some of its potency against her. At least she stopped the infernal giggling.

"Miss Granger," he began slowly. "What are your plans for this summer?"

She shrugged over her teacup. "I'm staying with Harry at Grimmauld Place for now, I don't have much planned actually. Feels rather pointless with this stupid war still going on."

He nodded sharply. "Good, would you mind assisting me with some research so that we may end this once and for all? I may have some ideas based on your outlandish statements, and you're somewhat decent at Arithmancy aren't you?"

She sat up straighter and he could almost see all the questions bouncing around in her skull. Some of them appeared to leak out through her hair which seemed to poof up with latent magical energy.

"No no, Miss Granger, I won't begrudge you these final few days at Hogwarts only to lock you up in a library in the dungeons," he said with a smirk. "Minerva would be most cross. In the meantime, perhaps you could look into the concept of … _joy_… since you're probably better suited for such an endeavour than I am." The j-word had him shudder, his lips curling up in a sneer.

Slowly her face was lit up by a radiant smile. "Help _you_ with research, sir? Of course I'd love to help you!"

~~oo~oo~oo~oo~~

His Floo flared to life with an incoming request for a call shortly after she'd left for her dorm room. With a wave of his hand he accepted Lucius' request and soon the blond aristocrat stepped through to his sitting room. The wizard looked rather worse for wear, actually, his hair was matte and tousled, his pristine powder blue robes looked rumpled, and he had dark circles under his eyes. Severus hadn't seen him since the last big meeting as he had only been summoned once after that, to a private meeting with the Dark Lord only, discussing the alleged Invulnerability Potion.

"Severus, you sneaky bastard, what did you do? I haven't slept properly for two months!"

"Good morning to you too. Would you care for some tea or do you need something stronger already?" He couldn't help but to smirk when looking at the blond wizard.

Lucius huffed and flopped down on Severus' couch while he called a house-elf for some tea and light refreshments. They settled down with some crumpets and tea and for a while none of them spoke, until Lucius broke the silence.

"There's been Talks, Severus," he said quietly, staring into the fire. He looked more serious than in a long while. "We've managed to get by for a while now but I fear it won't be enough, soon. Bella is howling in his ears about blood, blood and more blood, Wormtail is sniffing about everywhere and seems to have his eyes set on Narcissa, Greyback is drooling on my carpet and that damn snake is soon bigger than my Abraxans. Did you know she's been eating my birds?"

Severus snorted. "At least she's done _some_ good, then."

Lucius glared at him but Severus was staring into the fire, absently tracing his lower lip with a thumb while he thought about his occasional friend's words. Perhaps… perhaps it was time. He pulled out his wand from his sleeve and added a Muffliato and a few other wards which would give eavesdroppers a nasty surprise.

"Lucius…"

"Yes…?"

He took a deep breath. "You know both of these madmen will want this to end as messily as possible while dragging it out as long as they can."

Lucius nodded. "My bank account and the state of my carpets don't quite agree with that, you know. Did you hear Bella wrecked another antique bed the other week? She must have been jumping in it, again. I refused to hear any details but it's not as if she would ever replace what she breaks. Blasted in-laws, nothing but trouble."

Severus snorted. Well. Hit a Malfoy where it hurts: their Gringotts vault. At least it might make Lord Malfoy take action, hopefully for the right side. He took a deep breath.

"Someone has recently challenged a few core concepts which I had assumed to be immutable, but perhaps they hold a solution to this mess."

"Is that so? Who was that, if I may ask?" Lucius asked and grabbed another crumpet.

"One Miss Granger. I'm sure Draco might have mentioned her once or twice?"

Lucius' eyebrows hitched up. "You mean the Muuuu… ggleborn?"

"Yes. The Mu." He glared at Lucius over the rim of his cup. "Anyhow. I have to do some more research first, at any rate. Would you be terribly against inviting her and her friends to the Manor at some point in the future?"

Lucius frowned, his innate distaste of Gryffindors warring with his need to protect his family. "I think that could be doable as long as you are discreet and make sure the rat, the snake and the sister-in-law are neutralised. If you think it necessary."

"I'm quite convinced."

They finished their crumpets in silence before Lucius rose to leave. "I'll gladly leave the research to you, reading too much just makes me tired. Until later, Severus. I don't envy you the task of managing the other madman in the tower either, I see enough of him in Wizengamot hearings and on the Hogwarts Board meetings."

Severus rose as well, as courtesy required. "Oh, and Lucius?"

"Yes?"

"Try _Pisum Reverti._"

Lucius stood still for a moment, apparently working out the Latin. "What? Wait a minute… is that why I haven't slept? The Pea Jinx? Oh you complete and utter bastard, Severus!"

Severus smirked. "You were the one to hit me with the Unhibition Hex and your bloody birds still owe me a set of robes."

"You'll have to ask Nagini for that," Lucius sniffed.


	3. Synthesis I: In Which A Plan Is Made

**Synthesis: In Which A Plan Is Made**

**Part The First. The Who**

It was with some reluctance that he sent off an owl to Miss Granger once the Castle was finally empty of miscreants. Wouldn't it be so much easier to teach if there weren't any students around, he mused, not for the first time. No exploding cauldrons, no detentions, no crying homesick first-years or teens snogging in the alcoves.

To his astonishment, the owl returned the following morning with a letter from her. He took the scroll from its legs, fed it a piece of bacon off Filius' plate, and tucked it in his robes to read later. Both the Headmaster and his Deputy eyed him with unabashed curiosity, the former out of chronic nosiness and the latter since cats naturally always put their whiskers where they didn't belong at any opportunity. As quickly as possible he made it back to his chambers, warded the door and opened the scroll.

_Professor Snape,_

_I set up the calculations and think that maybe we are on to something but I need more info. Do you happen to know_

_\- his height and weight_

_\- if he ever had any hobbies, you know, outside of torturing Muggles_

_\- his eye colour, is it red, really?_

_\- his favourite food_

_\- what he got for Christmas and what books he likes to read, if any_

_\- his shoe size?_

_Any of the above would be useful! It would be much easier to make him laugh if he was, say, twelve. _

_Hope you have a nice summer,_

_Hermione Granger_

Absently he traced his lips with the scroll, staring into the fire. Twelve, she said… From nowhere, inspiration struck. He pulled down some books from his shelves and brought them to his private lab where he began pulling out ingredients, cauldrons, knives, chopping blocks and other impressive-looking gadgets, a bit sad that no one was there to witness his performance, but later relieved to be alone when he banged his head on a cauldron hanging from the ceiling. He penned another letter to her just before going to the Great Hall for dinner, his stomach informing him that he'd missed lunch.

Their correspondence continued. He began to look forward to her letters, which confused him until he realised that they were an excellent way of needling Minerva.

"You got a girlfriend, Snape?" Hooch asked after a week. The owl had arrived during breakfast, bearing a letter with his name. Although there weren't any students in the Castle anymore, a few teachers remained for the summer, including the Heads of Houses who needed to stay a while longer to sort out the paperwork for their students, registering grades and ensuring there weren't any loose ends remaining. Pomona and Aurora broke down in giggles at Hooch's question.

A girlfriend? Well, she was a girl, and she was… his… friend… so, yes? Maybe? He merely smirked at his colleague and left to read his letter.

~~oo~oo~oo~oo~~

It took a while to prepare for a meeting away from the prying eyes of one Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. The first order of business had been to change the Keeper of the Fidelius Charm of Grimmauld Place from Albus himself to Potter, seeing as the boy was planning to live in the house and that he was the rightful owner of it. Still, it had taken some time and plenty of bags of Muggle candy for the Headmaster to relent. Severus had carefully filched a bag of Maltesers before Albus got to it, planning to use it in emergencies such as for bribing the Headmaster to let him get out of lengthy staff meetings, or for when cravings struck at ten o'clock at night.

He Apparated to Grimmauld, feeling very pleased with having deceived Albus into thinking he'd been Summoned by the Dark Lord again to get away from the castle. Just as he opened the front door someone nearly crashed into him. Miss Granger had been running down the stairs and now stopped, as if petrified, right in front of his chest. She was dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a scooped v-neck green top that left an inch of her stomach bare, a most distracting sight.

"Erm, good evening Professor," she squeaked, addressing his buttons.

"Miss Granger."

"We're in the first floor drawing room, I was just — erm —" She was blushing and still talking to his buttons, before she managed to slink past him to the dining room.

Shaking his head in bemusement, Severus made his way upstairs to the large drawing room.

Potter was there, and a confusion of Weasleys were lounging on the well-worn couches including the twins and Bill plus the youngest two, as well as Miss Lovegood, all in varying stages of summer deshabille. He nodded at Bill and went over to a corner while they waited for Miss Granger to return.

"Why is _he_ here?" the youngest Mr Weasley asked Potter.

"Because this is basically his idea," Miss Granger said sharply, having just come back upstairs, followed by Kreacher who had brought refreshments for all of them.

Miss Granger cleared her throat. "So, we called you here today to work out a plan to end this whole mess. It's been going on for long enough, don't you think? Professor Snape and I have done some research and we're going to make him laugh."

"Err…" One of the Weasley twins said.

"Have you gone completely 'round the bend, 'Mione?" Weasley Jr asked, sitting with his arms crossed on the armrest of a couch.

The other Weasley twin started sniggering and soon the other ones followed.

Severus coughed slightly and stepped forward. "Yes, Mr Weasley. Exactly that. If you have any better ideas for how to dispose of a megalomaniac despot, feel free to share. I for one would rather not stick with Albus' idea of a large scale battle at a school." He raised an eyebrow. It still seemed to work even though all but the youngest two witches had left Hogwarts. Good. "As Miss Granger has deduced in a fit of inspiration, this is an opportunity to pull the Dark Lord off his throne without much bloodshed."

After a lengthy explanation most of the crowd actually nodded slowly, to his relief. Potter had been all for ideas that didn't lead to him facing a mad wizard in a large-scale battle. Severus had been a bit surprised at that, thinking the boy wanted the fame and glory, but he had been most adamant at not actually wanting to kill anyone in a duel. Potter Senior would undoubtedly have pounced on the idea, maybe this younger iteration actually was different?

"So, now we just need to come up with ideas for how to make him laugh," Miss Granger said brightly, having brought out a Muggle notebook and a full array of colourful pens. "Then we simply need to sneak into the impenetrable Malfoy Manor, and figure out how to deal with the bad guys."

"Leave Lucius to me," Severus said.

Miss Granger nodded and made a note in the book. Fred and George Weasley seemed to be holding a silent conversation in twin speech, nodding and frowning in sync before both of them grinned and turned towards Severus. "We may have an idea or two regarding fun."

"I'll read to him," Miss Lovegood said suddenly and pulled out a Muggle paperback book with a garish cover from her large bag. She wore a bright yellow summer dress which clashed quite dramatically with her radish earrings.

"As if that would help?" Ron said sceptically. "Books just make me sleepy."

Without further ado the blonde witch opened the book.

"_As the cauldron bubbled an eldritch voice shrieked: 'When shall we three meet again?'_

_There was a pause._

_Finally another voice said, in far more ordinary tones: 'Well, I can do next Tuesday.'*__" _

As she continued reading more and more of the assembled crowd started to chuckle, and even Severus found it hard to keep the corners of his mouth in their proper position. Soon one of the twins was lying upside down in the couch laughing, Potter had to remove his glasses to wipe at his eyes, Miss Weasley was doubled over and clutching her stomach, and Herm… Miss Granger was giggling into the crook of her arm.

"Mercy!" Fred Weasley gasped. "What is this, Luna?"

"Terry Pratchett," Luna said. "I have several of his books. He's a Squib who lives close to us, Father has invited him and his family over for tea a few times."

Severus was relieved when she stopped reading and the threat to make him burst out laughing in a room full of Gryffindors dissipated. It would have completely blown his carefully constructed persona.

Miss Granger grinned. "I was thinking of Monty Python too if we could get a movie projector to work in there."

Potter caught on quickly. "Oh, I've wanted to see if we can set up a video player here forever! Fred, George, do you think we could look at that? It would be awesome if it works!"

The twins exchanged identical slow smiles that soon turned into wide grins and Severus was sure he saw tiny Galleons floating around their heads.

"And you think this will work?" Bill asked Severus quietly while the younger crowd was busy discussing Muggle humour and the technology of video players. "What about the other ones then, how do we deal with them?"

Severus nodded. "Miss Granger's calculations are sound. We shall have to terminate a few of them with a bit more prejudice. The rest we will leave to the Aurors, I was thinking Kingsley at least, maybe Tonks."

Bill nodded slowly before returning to the others who were now discussing the pros and cons of popcorn, peanuts and Maltesers.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

* _Wyrd Sisters, _by Terry Pratchett. Because of course.


	4. Synthesis II: The What

**Synthesis: In Which An Agreement Is Reached**

**Part The Second. The What**

"Welcome to the Manor," Lucius Malfoy said and swept an arm out expansively.

Severus eyed the peacocks distrustfully as the somewhat unorthodox invasion force quickly stole across the huge swath of a lawn, heading for a side entrance. It was bright and early in the morning, the sun still not quite high enough to evaporate all of the dewdrops off the leaves and statues along the path. Although several of the youngsters had whined about getting up early on a Friday, in the end the argument had been won by the simple fact that the Death Eaters currently residing in the Manor also wished to have a bit of a lie-in and were unlikely to cause much trouble.

It had taken longer than expected to prepare everything, but by the end of August they were finally ready. Just in time, too, as term was about to start only a week later. Albus had not been pleased when Severus said he'd be unavailable over the weekend, but he blamed having to entertain the Dark Lord enough to keep him happy for the rest of the year. In a sense, he mused, that was completely true.

Herm… Miss Granger had assisted him with the brewing and research required. They'd set up a lab in the basement of Grimmauld Place and had spent many surprisingly enjoyable days, nights and evenings preparing and testing the potions. Severus shook his head. What was he thinking? It had been… endurable, to have her company. She'd been… almost useful at times. Yes. He nodded to himself and tried not to think about her arse clad in those tight Muggle jeans she preferred, or the way her t-shirt had clung to her curves when she was sweaty and tired after brewing for half a day, or those terribly confusing smiles that she for some reason directed at him when he least expected.

It had been challenging, to put it lightly, to get the hot-headed Gryffindors to accept that some Death Eaters were less evil than others, but Hermione had been surprisingly good at browbeating them. She must have had years of experience managing stubborn Weasleys, he surmised. In the end they'd invited Draco over to Grimmauld Place for popcorn and Muggle movies, and after a tense start they'd all actually managed to get along when bribed with popcorn, Muggle candy, and fizzy drinks. In the case of Draco Malfoy and the Weasley twins they got along suspiciously well. Severus was certain he didn't want to know what schemes the three of them were concocting.

They moved quickly once inside. Fred and George Weasley went off with Draco to set up the magical movie projector. Most of the crowd snuck off to the old grandmother-in-law wing to hide for the day, while Severus and Lucius cautiously walked toward the main levels. The Dark Lord was planning a dinner for the Inner Circle that evening and the self-appointed despot had requested the use of the dining room and ballroom, and for the elves to prepare all the food according to his specifications. While Lucius herded elves, Dark Lords and Death Eaters, Severus spent the day sequestered in the Malfoy library until Lucius sent an elf down to let him know it was time to start the next phase of the plan.

~~oo~oo~oo~oo~~

Surprisingly, and against all expectation, the plan actually seemed to sort of work. Severus had brewed, bought, bribed and blackmailed his way to a rather impressive collection of potions and poisons for the occasion, and dosing the entire assembled crew with different draughts was easy enough with the help of the Malfoy house-elves. He had needed to spend some time on making sure they would go undetected by most standard personal wards and magical artefacts the old Pureblood crew tended to use, and also that they wouldn't taste as bad as most potions did, but for some reason most of the effective poisons were either good-tasting or completely neutral.

Everyone at the table, including himself and Lucius, had a dose of Gullibility Potion poured in their drinks which would make them less inclined to be suspicious about anything odd going on. He had briefly considered not giving Lucius the antidote beforehand, as payback, but had grumpily handed it over when Lucius breezily told him that he would make sure to win a batch of cockatrice toenails for Severus off Avery during the poker game he had planned for later, to make up for the peacocks destroying his robes last time.

The hardest decisions and discussions had been about what to do with the Death Eaters that were clearly on the Dark Lord's side. Severus had been all for killing them as quickly as possible but then Hermione had wailed about them needing a fair chance and standing trial for their crimes and so on. In the end, a slightly ghastly compromise was reached with a slow-acting poison that would make sure they would stay terminated unless an antidote was delivered within three days by Kingsley's Auror team.

The Dark Lord had been dosed with the new potions Severus had created and had left early for his suite. Severus hadn't heard anything more so he assumed things were under control. He was rather proud of his innovation, combining a special slow-onset de-ageing potion with a happiness trigger, a strong temporary amnesia potion and an extra dose of Gullibility Potion to ensure the old despot didn't get too suspicious.

Meanwhile, Lucius had, after a suitable amount of time, led the old guard up to his study where he'd subtly barricaded them all in and alternated between pouring centuries-old Firewhisky down their throats and ridding them of excess Galleons via poker, probably as a way to make them pay for the drinks. The Death Eaters that weren't in the trusted old guard, but not as bad as the worst of them, were dosed with an advanced version of the Draught of Living Death and left to sleep on the floor of the ballroom or wherever they had ended up, until Kingsley would pick them up the next morning with a small team of trustworthy Aurors.

The most unsettling thing to happen during the rest of the evening was that the snake, Nagini, had started to hiss and writhe as if fighting with something unseen some time after Lucius and the others had left the room. Severus had quickly cast a Notice-Me-Not charm around the wretched animal but luckily most of the others were already looking rather vacant and a few had left the room, presumably for a bedroom.

He didn't know snakes could vomit, and would happily have lived the rest of his life not knowing that, but nonetheless the giant snake gaped wide and a black slimy sludge started pouring out of her mouth. Purple vapours started rising from the mess, writhing and hissing as if alive. It took him three tries before he could clear it with Vanishing spells. When the smoke dissipated the snake was a mere four feet long instead of thirteen. She blinked slowly at him before curling up in a neat coil in front of the fireplace, falling asleep with her head on her loops.

One by one, the remaining Death Eaters and various wannabes fell asleep where they stood or sat. The potion took effect slowly, in theory enabling the imbiber to seek out a bedroom or otherwise a comfortable place to sleep, but in this case when combined with the Gullibility Potion it simply led to people slumping down on the floor unless they'd left early enough in the evening. Severus waited until he was the only one standing, literally, before he left the room, heading for the suite where the Dark Lord was currently ensconced.

All their planning still didn't prepare him for the sight that met him when he cautiously knocked on the door and entered the room. Two large couches in pale purple velvet, most likely quite antique, stood next to each other in front of a large projector screen that bore some resemblance to Narcissa's best bedlinen, hung from the ceiling in front of the mirror that usually occupied that space. Draco was seated on the same sofa as the Dark Lord himself who looked slightly healthier than he had only a few hours ago at dinner, with more of a nose, some hair and a bit more colour to his pallid skin. The other couch held a few spare Weasleys while Luna Lovegood was lying on her back on the carpet with her feet against the armrest of one of the couches, watching the movie upside down. The Infamous Trio was not present yet, they had decided earlier to wait with introducing Potter to the Dark Lord as a safety precaution, and Miss Granger had said she would also prefer to stay back a little longer due to being Muggleborn.

On the screen, the brave knights led by King Arthur were just about to sneak into a castle using a Trojan Rabbit while the French soldiers hurled insults at them.

The Dark Lord looked up. "Ah, Severus. It is Severus, right? I to have forgotten a few names. Come in, I have been told the good parts are just about to start." He reached for a bowl of popcorn.

Severus slipped in and took a seat in an armchair close to the door. So far it didn't seem like anyone was about to murder one another other than on screen of course. It was a bit unnerving to hear the Dark Lord actually laugh at something even when no one was in pain, and when the Knights Who Say Ni entered the picture the youngsters broke down in paroxysms of laughter and even Severus found it hard to stay serious. He tried to surreptitiously assess the efficacy of his potions but there wasn't much to go on in the darkened room, other than the fact that they were all still alive of course.

An elf popped into the room right in front of Severus. "Comes quick, Master Potions sir! Topsy is to collects you!"

He didn't have time to protest before he was whisked into the sitting room of the suite Potter and several Weasleys were staying in. Potter was having seizures on the plush dark blue carpet with Bill Weasley trying to keep him from hurting himself, while Miss Granger stood rather uselessly nearby and the youngest Mr Weasley glared at the carpet as if it was the carpet's fault.

Severus quickly cast a couple of diagnostic spells at the brat. There was a strong taint of Dark magic around him but there was nothing obviously wrong otherwise, no visible curse traces or any other signs of struggle.

"What happened? Give me details," he snapped at no one in particular while casting another charm to try to identify the Dark aura. It didn't look like any spell, hex or otherwise, that he was familiar with.

"Nothing!" Miss Granger said. She'd moved up behind Severus and was peering down at her friend over his shoulder. "We were playing cards and then all of a sudden he started thrashing like this."

"Anything he ate or drank?"

"Nothing that we didn't have, sir."

Potter turned towards him, his pupils dilated so that his eyes appeared completely black. The boy hissed something at him before he suddenly started to cough and convulse. Severus quickly flipped him over on his stomach just as Potter started to vomit something that looked eerily similar to what Nagini had expelled earlier. Bill cursed under his breath and started casting containment and Vanishing spells on the black sludge and purple vapours, while Severus made sure Potter didn't choke on his own, by now rather nasty, breath.

When the vomiting stopped the boy fell into an exhausted slumber and Bill finally managed to get rid of the icky residue with a few rather special Curse-Breaker spells. Severus cast another few diagnostic spells that didn't pick up on anything abnormal, and the Dark taint was gone. Needing answers, he _Ennervated_ the boy who sat up slowly and blinked owlishly at them.

"Whuhappened?" Potter asked slowly before he sat up with the help of Weasley Jr.

"You fainted and vomited something nasty," Miss Granger informed him. She hurried over to Potter with a glass of water in hand, which he gratefully took.

"As did Nagini earlier," Severus said slowly, frowning.

Everyone started talking at once but he tuned them out. There was something about this situation that nagged at him, a conversation he had wanted to forget, something Albus had said. There was a connection here, he could feel it, but he needed to let his thoughts work themselves out to find it.

After ensuring that everything was under control and that no one else felt like vomiting black sludge, he left the room and made for the guest suite he was staying in that night. The suite was almost like an apartment, with a large (although not by Malfoy standards) sitting room decorated in pale green and cream white with golden accents, a bathroom and a bedroom. He poured himself a Firewhisky from the decanter left there by Lucius and settled by the fire for a moment of peace. Tomorrow would be strange, undoubtedly, but hopefully they would bring an end to this stupid conflict that had overshadowed his whole adult life. He took a sip of the drink, enjoying the flames dancing in his mouth as the whisky did its trick. It was strange, seeing the end of this era so close but yet not quite daring to think about what would happen After. There would, hopefully, be time for that later.


	5. Synthesis III: The How

**Synthesis: In Which An Agreement Is Reached**

**Part The Third. The How**

Hermione found it very strange to wake up in Malfoy Manor, in a huge room decorated in pale pink, gold and cherubs, which she shared with Ginny. They showered and dressed in relative silence in Muggle appropriate clothes, with Hermione and Harry having vetted the choices made by the Pure-bloods. Ginny had raided Hermione's summer wardrobe and scampered off with jeans shorts and a blue and white striped top, plus a college sweater which she tied around the waist. Hermione, meanwhile, had a pair of yellow summer trousers and a white short-sleeved blouse underneath a light blue cardigan.

She looked around but didn't see Luna anywhere, and her assigned bed seemed untouched. At least there hadn't been any drinking the previous night, apart from smuggled Coca-Cola and non-alcoholic ginger beer, which was admittedly strong enough to clear out both nose and ears in two seconds flat, but Hermione didn't know how long the rest of them had stayed up.

Two Malfoy elves — Tipsy and Turvy — had set out a lavish breakfast for them in the smaller dining room in the grandmother-in-law wing. The twins were already up with a huge cup of coffee each. Ron looked as if he wanted to fall asleep on his scrambled eggs and Draco was probably only upright due to centuries of Malfoy manners shoring him up. They'd started playing _'Allo 'Allo_ episodes after the Monty Python movie, but Hermione had seen most of them already with her family and had left after two episodes, preferring an early-ish night. She had still spent some time revising her plans for the following day, complete with timetables and colour-coded sections for different people, before taking a shower and going to bed.

The door opened and Hermione was instantly drawn to Severus' lean form when he entered the room clad in black Muggle jeans and a crisp white shirt, with a black leather jacket slung over his shoulder. He'd tied his hair back, too, and looked completely different from his usual stern Professor style. Hermione saw that Ginny too, the traitor, ogled him openly, and even the twins nodded approvingly. When his eyes found hers and he cocked an eyebrow at her she couldn't stop a blush from rising. He walked around the table and took a seat next to her and Summoned the teapot nonverbally while she tried to remember how to breathe.

She'd had a crush on him already at school but working with him over the summer had deepened it into something almost physically painful. They'd spent countless hours working, arguing, eating hastily prepared meals and discussing anything from curses to Muggle music. She'd come to appreciate his sharp wit, broad knowledge, and the sight of his arse in black slacks when he shed his robes while brewing.

"Hey, Professor," Ginny ventured. "You're also going Muggle today?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "As befits the occasion, Miss Weasley. I suppose today you should all call me Severus." He said the last with some reluctance.

"Only if you use our first names, Severus," Hermione piped in, almost managing to not trip over his name.

He turned his gaze on her, the corner of his lip quirked upwards. "Naturally, Hermione."

She blushed even more and busied herself with her toast, trying very hard not to look at his hands as he prepared one for himself. She'd stared at those hands for longer than she'd ever admit as they worked together, often fantasising about what they would feel like on her skin, long fingers with neatly cropped nails and some calluses from his work, deft and sure when preparing ingredients or stirring a cauldron.

"How did the rest of the evening go?" Prof… Sn… Severus asked. He'd left during the Monty Python movie, after all.

Hermione smiled, feeling jittery. "Fine, just fine. The Gullibility Potion worked well, he never questioned us. He looked much younger when I left, he was laughing a lot at the movies."

Severus asked the elves for some toast and scrambled eggs, and poured himself some tea from the Malfoys' antique teapot, milk first. The twins were eating cereal in perfect synchronisation across the table.

"What was the effect of the potion, Severus?" Ginny asked. "It triggered when laughing? I stayed a while longer than Hermione, he was definitely younger-looking. Luna was reading to him when I left."

Severus nodded. "Yes, the de-ageing component is triggered by laughter or happiness. This makes for a much stronger effect when coupled with the amnesia potion and Gullibility, and should hopefully reverse some of the impact he has had on the rest of the world. A standard De-Ageing potion can usually only take you back a couple of years at most and has rather nasty side effects. The amnesia and Gullibility need to be re-administered every twelve hours at minimum, however, or he'd revert."

Hermione nodded but Ginny appeared to be distracted since Harry had entered the room and sat down next to his girlfriend, immediately starting in on the toast. He was dressed in shabby Muggle jeans, a flannel shirt and a t-shirt with the name of a rock band, and he must have washed his hair before joining them as it was wet and slicked back.

Ginny gasped. "Your scar, Harry!"

Something was indeed different, Hermione saw when looking more closely at her friend. The scar had faded to a faint silver, from the angry still-inflamed red it used to be.

Prof… Severus had risen and stepped closer to Harry, inspecting him. "It was a connection to the Dark Lord," he said slowly. "Part of him lived in that scar, Albus told me as much last summer. Why did it disappear now and why did the same thing happen to Nagini?"

Another elf popped in with a tray larger than himself. "Topsy has waffles!" He deposited his burden on the table. Jam and clotted cream appeared next to it.

"Horcrux," Harry said suddenly with his mouth full of toast, crumbs flying everywhere.

"Bless you," George said. His twin brother pulled a checkered handkerchief out from behind his ear and handed it to Harry with a flourish.

"I was a Horcrux? We suspected the snake already." Harry didn't seem too bothered by it, oddly enough.

Hermione bit her lip, frowning. It made sense, in an absurd kind of way. She saw Severus sitting down abruptly next to Harry, lips pressed together tight and his face gone all white. Bill appeared to be a bit surprised as well. She tried to explain before their Potions professor blew a gasket. "The Headmaster has made Harry go out to look for them but they've only found one so far, a cursed ring. There was a lead on another in a hidden cave but the one they found was false."

Too late.

"Why didn't you tell me before we started this?" Severus snarled. He rose and started pacing across the carpet. "It could have jeopardised everything! How many of them are there?"

"We weren't supposed to tell anyone, the Headmaster said. We think he made six, plus Harry then," Hermione said quickly, trying to explain. "Two are destroyed already, and you said the snake went through the same as Harry? Yes, it does make sense, doesn't it? Nagini and Harry were the last ones he created. I didn't know about Harry but my calculations showed that they would most likely get destroyed when he moved past the age he was when he made them."

Before he could start shouting again, Bill interrupted. "Well, nothing much we can do about it now, is there? We should try to find out during the day if we can hear about any other object being destroyed."

Severus sat down again with his eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Hermione pulled out a tattered notebook from her bag, pushing her toast aside to make room for it, and flipped the pages until she found what she was looking for, although she knew it all by heart anyway. "As far as we have been able to tell one of them is probably at Hogwarts. One was in the possession of Lucius Malfoy, the one that is destroyed, so perhaps another Death Eater has one of them. Maybe Bellatrix? Then there's the one which someone called R.A.B. stole from the Dark Lord some time earlier, they found a fake with a note in it."

That seemed to have done the trick in distracting him. Severus looked up, his eyes finding hers. "R.A.B? As in, perhaps, Regulus Arcturus Black?"

Hermione looked at Harry who looked back at her, wide-eyed. "Kreacher!" they exclaimed in unison.

While Harry appeared to succumb to a bout of giggles for some reason, maybe due to a lack of Dark Lord in his head, Hermione tried to fill the others in on the details. The locket they'd seen at Grimmauld Place when cleaning and the potential link to Regulus, and the Horcrux. After breakfast they moved on to the next part of the plan. It was decided that they would wait for some kind of confirmation regarding the remaining Horcruxes before moving ahead with the final part of the plan, but since they still had at least a full day before they reached the point of no return they could see if Kingsley had heard something by then.

Just as they were about to head out, Lucius Malfoy entered and pulled Bill and Severus aside. Bill frowned and Severus nodded once. She thought she heard something about Pettigrew but before she could figure it out, the Malfoy patriarch turned and fixed them all with a slightly strained smile.

"Enjoy your day, gentlemen, ladies. Kingsley will be here in half an hour so it would be prudent for you to get moving."

Bill left with Lucius while the rest of them filed out of the room, Ron filching another toast before he left the table.

~~oo~oo~oo~oo~~

Hermione took a deep breath and tried to calm her racing heart. Although she'd done all the Arithmantic calculations forwards, backwards, sideways and upside down she was still not sure they would be able to pull it off. The plan was, after all, completely bonkers. But maybe it was as in another Pratchett book, "it's a million-to-one chance, but it might just work"? Still, she couldn't help but to feel nervous about it all. It had been fun to plan the rest of the day together with the others, as well, but she definitely felt the pressure that everything had to work. Harry had been helpful, and he and Draco had clashed over who was to pay for tickets and the like. They'd also spent a day with the Weasleys at the stores, trying on outfits and herding a bunch of unruly Pure-bloods through the Muggle crowds.

They gathered outside the already less Dark Lord's bedroom after Hermione had inspected everyone's choice of Muggle clothes again with some help from Harry. Hermione had frantically asked Severus if they were sure he had been given the next dose of potions, but at the question one of the elves — probably Topsy — had popped in and in a rather affronted tone asked if they didn't trusts him to do his jobs, so that was that.

A rather dishevelled Luna opened the door when they knocked. Behind her, the one formerly known as the Dark Lord walked out, peering at them curiously. He looked to be in his twenties, roughly, now with wavy dark brown hair again and piercing blue eyes, dressed in simple but elegant black Wizarding robes. He didn't appear ready to hex them, at least, but Hermione snuck closer to Severus anyway, just in case.

"Hello, Hermione," Luna said with an airy smile. "I slept on the sofa. Are we all set?"

Hermione smiled at her, a bit nervously, while Ginny tried to pull the Ravenclaw girl away from the doorway. Ron was trying to hide behind Draco, apparently, who was doing a less blatant job of shuffling out of wand range behind the Weasley twins, which was probably not the smartest move considering their huge array of tricks.

"Hi, Tom," Harry began bravely. His smile looked a bit forced. "Ready for a day of fun?"

"Hello," Vold… err Tom began. "Do I know you?" He looked around at all of them and nodded slowly at Severus but didn't appear to actually recognise anyone.

Harry raked a hand through his hair. "Sorry, I'm Harry. We've met but you might not remember, it was quite some time ago."

"Right. Hello, Harry."

"You've been ill a while, Tom," Luna said breezily, taking a step closer to him. "My friends all figured a day of fun would help, so we're here to join you."

Luna introduced all of them, one by one, and Tom greeted them all politely, even Hermione. Before everything got too tense, Fred called for them to line up.

"Ready?"

Everyone nodded and held on to the shabby rake they would use as a Portkey.

"Weatherwax!" Fred and George shouted, and they were sucked through the vacuum of nothingness to arrive at the top of a hill, by some trees near a large car park. The sun was shining although some summer clouds were starting to form already.

Hermione felt a pang of nostalgia when she looked down over the crowd of people milling across the car park, waiting to enter the large amusement park. She'd visited yearly with her family until Hogwarts and the magical world had started to steal also her summers away from her family.

She took a deep breath. Now it was time to show these witches and wizards a part of her world, the one filled with roller coasters and cotton candy.


	6. Synthesis IV: The Where

**Synthesis: In Which An Agreement Is Reached**

**Part The Fourth. The Where**

Hermione called for everyone's attention and made them gather around her, armed with her trusty notebook and beaded bag. She handed everyone a bracelet made by Fred and George which they had imbued with subtle Notice-me-not charms, not strong enough to cause problems but enough to not make people take notice of the group of people gawking at completely ordinary things. Couldn't hurt to stay prepared, after all.

"First things first, we all stick together, alright? There will be loads of people here and it would be easy to get lost. Try to blend in and always move in groups of two at minimum, three or more preferred. Yes, Ron, even to the loo. We'll find a good meeting spot inside and agree on meeting times so that we can go eat together, for example, even if someone wants to do something someone else doesn't want to."

"Do we have to vote for what ride we do, too?" Ron asked, sounding a little petulant.

Hermione glared at him and plastered a fake smile on, all teeth, before continuing, checking off points in her list as she went. "Next, Harry will get the tickets for all of us. You have to wear the armband he gets for you or you won't be allowed on the rides. We're also going to give you some Muggle money for snacks and such but don't spend it all on sugar the first thing you do. Oh, and wands please. This is a Muggle place so I'll hold on to everyone's wands so that we don't have any magical accidents."

She held out her hand and stared them all down until they gave in. Luna went first, then the twins, with an ease that made her suspicious. Ron muttered something and handed in his at the same time as Ginny did. To her relief, Tom gave her his wand without much hesitation, right after Draco. Harry made a show of handing her his wand but they'd already agreed that he'd keep his, so the one she got from him was merely a WWW trick wand. A stray thought struck her, and when she checked the twins' wands she'd received they were basically identical to Harry's.

Hermione turned to Severus who merely raised an eyebrow at her. She blushed and gave up before even trying.

Inside was chaos, as usual. Loud music from hidden speakers along the paths warred for acoustical dominance with the shrieks of people being thrown around like ragdolls on the rides. Blinking lights and huge signs advertised the various rides, and kids were already whining for candy or ice cream. They managed to stick together and started to discuss where to start. Despite Hermione's protests that they'd rigged the votes, the twins soon had them all heading for the biggest and baddest ride, a roller coaster with extra twists and a nasty-looking steep fall in the beginning.

"Do I have to give you a Calming Draught?" Severus muttered just as they were, quite reluctantly in her case, queueing up for the ride. They were last in line of the group, with Luna, Draco and the twins right ahead of them, then Vold… Tom and Harry, with Ginny and Ron going first.

She glared at him. "This is all your fault!"

He huffed. "Not quite, I happen to recall the events leading here quite differently, my lady."

"I just remembered how much I hate roller coasters," she admitted, feeling a little queasy already.

One death-defying ride later, the group reassembled near the exit. To Hermione's relief, she'd actually survived the ride and even found it quite — dare she say it — fun. Luna beamed with happiness beside her, while Ron was looking rather pale. Harry, Ginny and Draco were discussing the virtues of roller coasters versus brooms.

"That was fun!" Tom said. He smiled, looking happy and rather handsome in a 1940s kind of way, only missing the pomade. They'd Transfigured his clothes to a simple blue jacket over dark blue trousers and a white shirt. "Can we go again?"

"Sure," Harry said, grinning. "Or if you want to try that thing over there?" He pointed towards a definitely evil-looking ride where people were being flung up, down and sideways while hurling along a roller coaster track.

Ron turned green which showed off his freckles even more. "You sure about that?"

"Come, little brother, we are expected to have fun," George said and grabbed him by the elbow.

"And fun we shall have," Fred declared dramatically. Together they frogmarched their brother towards the other ride, with the rest of the group trailing after.

Hermione declined the ride, offering to watch everyone's jackets instead. Severus was quick to join her since she obviously needed assistance with ensuring that the twins' clothes didn't try to run after their owners.

By the time they regrouped, the pair of them was deep in a discussion _— we__'re not arguing, Severus, you're just wrong — _about the pros and cons of Muggle chemistry compared to Potions. Ron looked a little better this time, and Harry wore a large grin on his face. Luna was as serene as ever but she was the one who led them to the next thing, a tall tower which you could apparently throw yourself off while strapped to a seat. Hermione declined that too but Severus went along with the others. While she waited she was looking at the map and planning where they could go next, deciding to suggest a water ride.

However, before they made it there, something seemed off with Tom. He was beginning to go bald again, his skin was whitening and there was a definite tinge of red to his eyes when she looked closely. He was also starting to look over his shoulder a bit suspiciously and he started to mutter something under his breath.

"Severus?" Ginny called quietly. "I think we're in need of a drink, here."

The twins managed to steer him towards a calmer corner of the park and had him sit down on a bench beneath an ash tree while Severus fished out some vials from his hidden pockets in the leather jacket, and Hermione hurried to find something suitable to drink.

When she returned a little while later with a huge frothy chocolate milkshake, Luna was reading Pratchett again to the group. Hermione handed the drink to Severus who deftly mixed it up with the potions, and they all held their breaths waiting for Voldemort to recede in favour of Tom again as he finished the drink. Ron and Harry had gone off in search of more milkshakes for everyone and soon they were all slurping down various shakes, even Severus who had snatched the last chocolate-flavoured one just before Harry who had to settle for vanilla.

Once the self-appointed despot was back under the influence of the Gullibility and amnesia potions, they all headed for the water ride that Hermione wanted to try. She rode with Ginny and Luna this time, and the three of them shrieked with laughter as the raft splashed down the waterfall and somehow managed to drench Tom, Draco and Ron who had ridden just ahead of them. Ron gasped and shouted obscenities at them but Draco and Tom were laughing hard.

They had lunch next at Ron's insistence. Harry had located a place decked out like an very American 1950's diner, with a jukebox playing Elvis songs, vinyl booths and checkerboard floor tiles, and Draco insisted on paying for the food. All of them had a hamburger with fries except for Severus who somehow had managed to locate some fish 'n' chips instead, muttering something about proper English food. Hermione and Harry were amused at seeing the Pure-bloods battling a hamburger, but in the end even the most sceptical among them, namely Draco, had been thoroughly won over by the messy hand-held food.

After eating Hermione voted for starting with something less jarring to the stomach and led them all off to the carnival games section, where groups of up to eight people could test their mettle to see who was the absolute champion in hoop throwing, whack-a-mole, shooting fake guns, rolling balls into holes, throwing balls at a target to make horses race, and more.

A quick headcount confirmed that they were indeed more than eight. Hermione was quick to step aside, shortly joined by Severus, which the others barely noticed as they signed up for a team and moved to the first station. She noted that Tom did look younger already, maybe a teenager rather than an adult. He was laughing at something Fred said.

She sighed somewhat wistfully when seeing them play, laughing and teasing each other. "I used to do this with my dad and uncle when we were at amusement parks, I was pretty good at it."

"Care to play?"

She whirled around to face Severus, stunned. "Err, what?"

He raised an eyebrow at her again. "I am quite sure I'll trounce you, Miss Granger. Or do you bow down in the face of your inevitable defeat already?"

"Hah! You wish! You're on, Mr Snape." A wide grin was spreading across her face. Before he could change his mind, she snatched a scorecard and wrote their names in.

"Now, what should my prize be when I win, hm?" He traced his lip with a finger, as if deep in thought.

Hermione blushed without meaning to and his smirk widened, the bastard. "Not that you will win, but in the unlikely event that it should happen, I'll correct all your first- and second-year essays for a week."

"A month, you mean? That's almost reasonable." He looked down his nose at her but there was a sparkle to his eyes.

She crossed her arms. "Two weeks. And what will I get from you when I win, huh?"

"Well, it is most unfortunate that it won't ever come to pass, but I'd grant you access to my personal library for a week."

"A month, you mean? That's almost reasonable," she mirrored, with a growing smile.

He huffed. "Two weeks, then."

"Deal."

They shook on it and the game was on. Hermione won the first game, a relatively straightforward one with balls to be thrown into buckets of varying sizes, but only because she lobbed all of them at the next-to-largest bucket while Severus was trying to hit the smallest target, which was worth more points. Severus won the ring tossing, while Hermione managed to sneak in a win in the horse-racing, by rolling balls across the board at the target with both hands at the same time. Severus won the slingshot game where one was to shoot down a pyramid of cans, and also the Skee-Ball game, rolling balls towards a series of rings that gave more points for the smaller sizes.

Hermione focused more than she'd ever done as they reached the next-to-last game, the whack-a-mole. She used to be the queen of whack-a-mole, almost uncontested the last few years she'd played with family. She looked over at Severus beside her who looked equally grim, brandishing his plastic club like a sword. The bell rang, and they were off, bashing plastic logs, frogs and squirrels with all their might. Hermione was completely in her element and no log went un-bashed in her quest to be crowned champion.

"A perfect score, miss!" the pimply teenager attending the booth said, wide-eyed, when they'd finished. She smiled and wiped the sweat off her brow before turning to Severus, who trailed her by twenty points, in itself a not poor result.

"Well played, Miss Granger," he said grudgingly.

She beamed a smile at him. "Your library is as good as mine, Professor Snape."

"Your delusions are strong, I see. One more game then before I can hand you all those essays." He offered her his arm as they walked to the next game booth.

Luna came up to them and said the others were headed to the roller coasters again, at Tom's insistence. Apparently Harry and Ginny had won their games, with the twins just behind.

The last game was a target shooting game with a fake gun that registered hits with infrared light. They got a test shot each before they were, once again, completely focused on the game. They had three shots each, and Hermione went first. She emptied her mind, relaxed and focused, and exhaled. The shot was a perfect ten and she grinned at Severus who bowed his head to her before he, too, focused and went completely still for his own shot. Another perfect ten. When she went for her next shot he was grumbling something under his breath about libraries and detention, but Hermione was distracted and only scored seven. Severus smirked at her and managed another ten.

Hermione let out a large breath. She needed to nail the final shot and have Severus miss in order to win. She really wanted a glimpse of his library, after all. There were butterflies in her stomach. She set up and pulled the trigger but her aim was slightly off and she only got a six. Dang. He'd win, then, and she'd be stuck grading papers for two weeks. Not that she minded too much, she'd still be near him after all.

"Congratulations," she muttered even as he prepared his final shot. He glanced at her before pulling his Occlumency shields down tight again. Hermione frowned. Where was his aim? It looked off.

The shot went off and the score came up. Three. He grumbled but didn't seem unhappy about it, oddly enough, and when the final tally showed on the screens Hermione couldn't believe it. They had tied. Since both of them had won three games each that meant they'd tied the whole competition, too.

"Looks like you'll be grading papers for me then," he said blandly. "Congratulations, well played, Miss Granger."

She felt affronted at first but his smirk gave him away. Both of them won? "And you'll give me access to your library. Well done, sir." She wanted to hug him but didn't really dare.

He took a step closer and leaned down towards her ear. "It's Severus, you know."

His low voice gave her goosebumps all the way down her spine. "Only if you call me Hermione." She dared a look up at him, he was close, almost close enough to kiss. Taking a deep breath she turned slightly and took his arm. "Shall we see where the others went?"

"Must we?" he muttered but acquiesced.

As they walked down the path they spotted Luna perched on the edge of a large flower planter. She waved at them and hopped down as they approached, carrying a fake, glittery plastic wand she must have won in a booth. Hermione was quite certain it wasn't supposed to shoot glittery sparks, anyway, which it did nonetheless as the blonde witch waved it around.

"Hi Hermione, Severus, I was waiting for you. He's about fourteen now, we think, and he wanted to do the twirling octopus. It looks a bit like the Giant Squid, do you think they're related? We just did those bumping carts. They were fun."

"Bumper cars, you mean?"

Luna shrugged and smiled a Luna smile at them.

Everyone soon returned to the meeting point, Ron looking slightly green after the spinning ride, and Draco suggested a coffee. They found a cafe under a canopy of vines and leafy bushes, and Hermione chose to look away as George flourished his wand subtly at a couple of tables in the corner which soon had them all seated together. Draco, Hermione and Ginny each had cappuccinos in front of them, Harry and the twins had a large something with chocolate and coffee, Severus of course chose an espresso, Luna went for a milkshake and Ron had mirrored Tom in choosing a huge ice cream sundae in lieu of a drink.

Hermione still found the day quite surreal. The experience of going to a Muggle amusement park with her magical friends was odd enough in itself. Add to that bringing a certain snarky Potions Master along and the oddness level rose dramatically. If anyone had asked her half a year earlier, she'd have said that Professor Snape and roller coasters simply didn't belong in the same sentence, let alone in the same physical location. She looked across the table at the boy-formerly-known-as-You-Know-Who and could almost feel her brain shutting down, refusing to contemplate what it meant to have him there.

Tom, who now looked to be twelve or thereabout, looked up over the rim of his ice cream concoction. He had a bit of a whipped cream moustache going on. "I think I've done some bad things, haven't I? Is that why I can't remember? I don't remember any of you either but you're all being nice to me and taking me out to do fun things. Why?"

Hermione was stunned and looked helplessly at Severus who had gone still as a statue. To her relief, Luna answered. "Yes, Tom, you had a bad infestation of Wrackspurts. Having fun helps clearing them away. It feels good, doesn't it?"

Tom grinned at her and slurped some slushy ice cream with his straw. "Yeah, it's fun. You're all nice. Can we try the roller coasters again?"

"Sure thing," Fred said.

"Is it alright if I pass?" Hermione ventured. She'd had her fill of roller coasters and didn't really feel up to it. The general noise and chaos of the park was starting to get to her a bit, too.

"Fine, meet by the big tree in an hour?" Harry asked.

"Will you be fine then?" she asked, feeling a bit anxious about leaving them alone. What if something went wrong?

"Don't worry," Fred and George said, Fred pulling his jacket aside slightly to show his wand while George waggled his eyebrows at them.

Severus handed off a set of vials for emergencies to Draco as they all rose to leave, claiming that he too had had his fill of moving things.

While the others went off to the roller coasters again, Hermione and Severus strolled through the park to a small canal that ran through the centre of it. Hermione looked curiously at the people passing them, and the way they somehow cleared a large bubble of space around Severus. At first she suspected his standard scowl was in play but he wasn't stalking the halls of Hogwarts as if his robes were on fire, after all, scattering first-years like bowling pins along the way, and his black leather jacket didn't billow the way his robes did. She frowned and looked closer. Had he…?

"Severus…?"

"Hmm?" He looked down at her, his free hand absently patting the hand she had curled around his elbow.

"Why is everyone scattering around us as we walk…?"

He raised an eyebrow at her but there was a smirk at the corner of his mouth, threatening to break out into a smile if he weren't careful. "I have no idea what you're implying, Hermione."

"You've Confunded them, haven't you? Wasn't that terribly risky?"

The smirk was out in full force now. "I haven't done anything of the sort, Miss Granger. That would, after all, jeopardise the Statute of Secrecy, wouldn't it?"

"Severus!" She pulled him to a stop and turned to face him, still holding on to his arm.

"What? I just…" He trailed off for some reason and looked down at his own arm, the one she clung to. With a frown he looked up and pulled her along to a quiet corner which he warded with a very subtle flick of his wand.

"What are you doing? Severus!"

He ignored her and shook off her hands. She was highly affronted until he started to peel off his black leather jacket and handed it to her with a grunt, leaving him in just the white shirt. She still didn't understand what he was up to, not until he started unbuttoning the sleeve of his left arm and then peeled it off to reveal an arm that was as pristine and pale as his right. There was some black dust on his arm and inside his sleeve which scattered and evaporated in the sunlight.

"Is that… the mark… Severus? What…?"

He'd frozen in place, staring at his own arm. Hesitantly she reached out an hand and touched his skin, following the ridge of a vein up his sinewy arm. It was warm and smooth and she wanted to run her lips over it.

"It worked, Severus, it worked," she breathed. "The calculations were right! His evil actions are getting undone! It's real, we're really doing it!"

He looked up at her and there was a wildness to his eyes she hadn't seen before, a light. Before she knew it she was wrapped in a tight embrace, her feet almost lifting off the ground. He pulled his head back to better look at her and then all of a sudden his lips crashed down onto hers. It was clumsy and unpractised and with teeth in the way, and absolutely perfect.

It was also, in Hermione's opinion, over way too fast. He shied back as if burned and seemed to have forgotten that his hair was tied back with a cord as he tried to hide behind it.

"My apologies for overstepping, Miss Granger." He stood stiffly beside her, arms crossed.

"No, you didn't," she protested but that didn't seem to help much. She needed to distract him, and then to trick him into kissing her again. For science, obviously, to see if the swooping feeling in her stomach could be replicated. She started to walk back to the main path, with him following reluctantly behind. "What did you actually do to the Muggles, Severus?"

"Hmm?" He looked down at her. "You should have worked it out. A standard repelling potion on my jacket."

She laughed and admitted defeat, feeling him relax slightly beside her. After looking around she spotted something a bit further off the path, and promptly pulled him along with a hand around his bicep.

"Is this really necessary?" he grumbled beside her as they stood waiting for their turn to ride the gigantic Ferris wheel.

"Yes, I told you, I always ride the Ferris wheel when I'm at a park that has them. It's tradition. Come on now, don't be such a grump!"

Her father had always liked the slowly spinning ride and had taken her up in them for as long as she could remember. Soon they were seated in one of the gondolas, gazing out over the landscape. Rolling green hills divided into fields and a sparkling blue band was visible towards the horizon.

"Look, Severus, the sea!"

There were a few sailing boats out and some large ships headed for the Continent. She'd twisted in her seat to better see over the edge, and he turned as well, ending up almost bumping shoulders with her.

"Indeed. What an astute observation, Miss Granger."

She swatted his arm. "Don't be a git. Have you been to the sea, Severus?"

He nodded slowly, still watching the landscape around them. "Yes, to collect ingredients off the coast here in Britain. I haven't been abroad, I presume you have?" He turned to look at her.

"Yes, France and Italy a few times. We'll have to go some time then, you have to see the Mediterranean, it's wonderful."

The gondola had stopped, a quarter of the way up, letting a new batch of people on. Hermione started reminiscing about her holidays with her parents in France, and promptly got lost in a fantasy of Severus and herself on an Italian beach. Just as she was getting to the good parts, with him in black bath shorts buying them ice cream while she read a book under an umbrella on the beach, he said something to interrupt her.

"I didn't dare to hope it would work." He'd turned to look straight ahead instead, over the other edge of the gondola, but his mind was elsewhere. "Do you think we can end this, Hermione?"

She reached for him, awkwardly patting his shoulder. "I know we can. We are. Look how far we've come already. Your Mark won't grow back again, you know, even if he should return to full power again."

The gondola moved again and she dared to move a bit closer, leaning into his side. He put his arm around her shoulder but still seemed lost in thought.

A thought struck her when they reached the top of the circle and the gondola swayed to a stop again. "Severus?"

"Hm?"

"You know, there's another tradition involving Ferris wheels…"

He looked down at her briefly. "Is that so?"

She bit her lip and took a deep breath. "Yes, it is customary to kiss at the top. You know, for luck."

His eyebrow rose, as did the corner of his mouth. "Well, in that case…"

Slowly, slowly, he lowered his head towards hers, and her eyes fluttered shut in nervous anticipation, only to fly open when she felt his lips ghost over her cheek. "You missed," she squeaked.

The ghost of a smile became slightly wider as his eyes snapped to hers, fire slowly reigniting. "Is that so?"

She didn't leave him room to protest when she grabbed his head with both hands and pulled his face down so that she could, finally, get those lips on hers. After a moment he complied, and it felt just as marvellous as their first, and even better when tongues got involved.

When the ride ended and the gondola's door opened she was surprised to find herself seated sideways on his lap, one of his hands underneath her top, splayed over her lower back, while she was pressed against his chest for maximum contact. Unfortunately, when she'd managed to extricate herself from his lap and dazedly stumbled down the exit gangway, still holding on to his hand, it was to the applause and wolf whistles from a crowd of enthusiastic Weasleys and assorted hangers-on. Fred, George and Ginny were grinning at them, Harry and Draco looked confused, and Ron was almost green in the face again. They were joined by Luna who was apparently explaining something about birds, bees and hand-holding, to a young dark-haired boy of maybe nine or so. Hermione was quite certain she didn't want to know any details.

"Hello," the boy said. "You're Aunt Hermione aren't you?"

"Er, hello Tom, yes I am."

"Hello Uncle Severus. Aunt Luna told me about you. Can you read to me later? She says you're good at it."

Luna smiled vaguely and took Tom's hand while looking directly at Hermione and Severus. "So you found what you were looking for? I think we're ready to leave now."

Together they all walked to the exit while Tom chatted about the rides and the twins were giving her identical grins whenever she looked their way. Hermione felt flustered but didn't let go of his hand, enjoying the feel of his thumb tracing circles over the back of her hand. Maybe there was some hope for her fantasies when this day was finished.


	7. Synthesis V: The Why

**Synthesis: In Which An Agreement Is Reached**

**Part The Fifth. The Why**

Severus was relieved to return back to the Manor via another Portkey, this one a green Muggle umbrella. The day had been taxing. Noise, crowds, the whole park environment and the rides hadn't exactly calmed him down. Add to that herding a temporarily-reformed mass murderer and nerves would inevitably be strung tight. The fact that _she_ was there didn't help either, nor had that kiss… those kisses… they'd shared. He still couldn't believe it, her daring, her responses to him, the way she'd felt in his arms. Nothing had ever come close before.

Lucius met them in the drawing room and told them all to get changed in time for dinner an hour later. After a quick negotiation via eyebrows, code words and a few glares, Luna and the Weasley twins took charge of the young boy who used to be a vicious despot, leading him off to a bath and a change of clothes to something better suited for a kid. Severus shook his head at the giggles which could be heard until they rounded the corner. The rest of the group was still talking about the park, apparently, if Hermione's giggles was anything to go by. That sound did odd things to his insides.

"Was that…?" Lucius asked him quietly, wagging an eyebrow in the direction the small entourage had disappeared in.

Severus nodded.

"It's eerie hearing him laugh, isn't it?" Lucius said quietly. "Don't get me wrong but I never thought…"

"No faith in me even now?" He quirked an eyebrow at his blond somewhat friend. "But yes, I do agree. It has been an exceedingly odd day. I must ask, has your Mark disappeared? Mine is gone without a trace."

Lucius smiled, a soft smile making him look young and carefree, more than he'd ever been in his youth. "Yes, I noticed when changing robes earlier, it's gone. We have a new chance at life, Severus. Narcissa was overjoyed when I showed her."

Severus nodded and was just about to ask about the other Death Eaters when the main doors opened again, and Kingsley stepped through with Tonks who immediately turned her hair waist-length platinum blonde when she spotted Lucius.

"Kingsley!" Pot… Harry exclaimed, as ever a master of the obvious, and walked up to the older Auror. Severus still wasn't quite used to using his former students' first names, although some were easier than others. The Weasleys he conceded to out of necessity, or he'd have to resort to a numbering system for all the Mr Weasleys.

"How did it go?" Hermione asked, sounding a bit anxious.

Kingsley cleared his throat. "The ones detained by Lucius were all interrogated today by our team and most of them were sent home with travel restrictions. We got the ones we wanted to catch except for Travers, and Severus has promised that problem will take care of itself shortly so we'll just need to find a way to get some confirmation. Those we took into custody have been given the antidote."

Kingsley looked at Severus who nodded. The poison he'd given them was rather insidious and would kill them via internal bleeding in a few days' time if they didn't turn up for treatment, and it was obscure and difficult to diagnose meaning they'd have to seek professional care to stand a chance, which would give Kingsley a chance to catch them at St Mungo's.

The Auror continued. "Pettigrew is dead, he was found halfway transformed to his rat form. Bellatrix and the Lestrange brothers, Fenrir Greyback and Antonin Dolohov also chose to fight and only Rodolphus Lestrange survived."

"Good," Harry said, with relish.

Severus was inclined to agree. The worst of them were out of commission, then. Perhaps he should have realised Pettigrew would succumb faster to the poison if he transformed, after all it was basically a rat poison scaled to human dosage, but then again he couldn't bring himself to care much.

Hermione moved closer to Kingsley. "We need to figure out if anything happened to the rest of the Horcruxes," she said, wielding a notebook and a Muggle pen. "Harry, would you check with Kreacher about the locket? And there are still two more which we don't know anything about."

"Horcruxes? Plural?" Kingsley said and staggered over to a nearby Baroque bench, wiping his face with his hands as he sat down clumsily, going almost as white as Lucius who looked equally disturbed but was better at hiding his reactions as Hermione and Harry explained the issue to the rest of them.

In the end it was agreed that Harry would go talk to Kreacher, accompanied by Tonks and Draco, and the Auror would then head to the Auror office to check in with their colleagues before returning to the Manor in time for dinner.

Before they all left, Hermione handed all of them a dose of antidote to the potions Tom had been given, saying that each and every one of them would have a responsibility for the way things went, and it wasn't just on Severus' or her own conscience. Hermione and he had argued about that issue for quite some time before he gave in. Of course he had a counter to the counter, should that be necessary, but it would keep the rest of the Gryffindors a bit more humble.

~~oo~oo~oo~oo~~

The no-longer-very Dark Lord was even smaller by the time they were all seated for dinner in the Malfoys' French dining room, a smaller room in a light Rococo style which was mainly used for smaller family meals rather than big formal affairs, and never had been used by the Death Eaters. Severus was seated between Hermione and Narcissa, who appeared completely at ease with hosting the person who had kept her hostage in her own home for years, now in the shape of a five-year-old boy, but Severus knew her well enough to read the tightness of her smile and the way she folded her napkin. The milling confusion of red-headed Gryffindors didn't help matters, either. All the Weasleys involved in the mission were there, as was the rest of the crowd.

Harry had returned earlier together with Draco. They'd talked to Kreacher but unfortunately Mundungus Fletcher had apparently stolen the locket at some point, so they had no further clues as to where it could have gone. Kreacher did confirm that it had been the Horcrux, however, and had been overwhelmed with gratitude when Harry had given him the fake one that Regulus had made.

"Is that… him?" Tonks asked in a stage whisper which carried straight across the room. She'd just made it back from the Auror office and stood frozen in the doorway before she moved to her seat between the Weasley twins, almost knocking down a marble statue, with her hair in a spiky purple style that most definitely wasn't Pure-blood custom.

"Who's that?" Tom asked Luna, in the high voice of a child. He was seated between Luna and Harry, with a couple of pillows on his chair. "Her hair is purple. Why is her hair purple?"

Luna patted his hand. "That's Tonks, dear. She's a friend. Come, have some of Aunt Narcissa's meatballs."

"Can I have purple hair too?"

Soon everyone was settled and eating, with Narcissa and Lucius on the short ends and the Weasleys all on the same side of the table together with Draco and Tonks. The elves had done an excellent job, as usual. They were served a light Italian-inspired dish of spaghetti and meatballs in a tomato sauce, with lots of garlic, parmesan cheese and fresh herbs. Tom was happily chatting to the twins and Tonks across the table, talking about the rides and what was the best part of the park. So far it seemed as if the milkshake was in the lead, followed by one of the carousels they'd done in the end, one designed for young children. Severus found it surreal, watching him interact with the others at the table without cursing any of them.

"So I just heard something odd from Dawlish," Tonks said while stabbing a meatball. It jumped over to Fred's plate, causing Tom to start giggling. "He said there had been a magical explosion at the home of a Ministry official and when they went to investigate, they found loads of Dark artefacts and took her to custody. She's facing serious charges."

"Who was it?" Harry asked.

"Someone you may know," Tonks said with a grin. "Dolores Umbridge. She had a fancy necklace which appeared to have been the centre of the explosion."

Severus was surprised to hear it, but then again perhaps not. She'd be the kind of person who was drawn to power as long as they could convince themselves they wouldn't be caught. The younger Weasleys also looked grim and grinning, in equal parts.

Hermione nodded. "One down, then. That must have been the locket Mundungus stole." She turned towards Tonks. "Do you know what it was supposed to look like? The locket?"

Tonks shrugged. "Gold and heavy with an emerald _S_, Dawlish said."

"That's it exactly, it was just the same as the one we gave to Kreacher," Harry said. "Imagine _her_ with _his_ soul, what a mess it would have been!"

The youngest Weasleys started laughing and even Severus found it hard to be serious. Luna was explaining to Tom what souls were, a job he was relieved to leave to someone else.

"What else is left?" Kingsley asked.

"Something that may have been left to Bellatrix, probably, and then something possibly at Hogwarts."

Bill Weasley spoke up too. "I heard from Gringotts today. There was an explosion in a vault at the lower levels, where the Lestranges and Parkinsons and Notts have their vaults. I don't yet know any details but the goblins were talking about banning Dark artefacts, apparently something had set off a _Geminio_ curse in a vault and blown the door off its hinges, killing a guard dragon and blocking the whole pathway with fake gold. The goblins were quite upset, mainly over the fake gold."

"Could it have been another… of those?" Hermione asked. "And what do you mean, guard dragon?"

"Just what it sounds like. And I don't know yet but I'd guess so," Bill confirmed. "I'll get more details tomorrow or next week."

"Just the one at Hogwarts left, then," Harry said. "We're really getting close."

Severus took a deep breath. Would it really be over soon? It would be easy to get confirmation from Hogwarts once he returned. Well, relatively easy, as long as he brought some more Maltesers for Albus.

"Close to what?" Tom asked. He'd finished his meatballs and made a castle from some pieces of pasta and the broccoli.

Harry looked at his erstwhile adversary. "Close to dessert! I think Draco has promised Beauxbatons mess* tonight, didn't you?"

Draco nodded. "Only the best for our guests! It was my favourite as a kid. Do you know what Beauxbatons mess is, Tom?"

"No, is it something you can eat?"

Ginny was the one to answer. "Oh, it has meringues, and ice cream, and bananas, and strawberries. We only had that when we went to see Aunt Muriel and she wanted to one-up Mum's cooking."

Draco nodded. "Yes, and ours also has whipped cream, caramel and chocolate sauce, if you want."

"Awesome! Can I try it?" Tom asked eagerly, grinning at Draco across the table.

The mess was, indeed, messy, and even Severus found it acceptable with an adequate amount of chocolate sauce. The Twins charmed some meringues to dance around Tom's plate, which was harmless enough until one of them slipped and fell into a puddle of chocolate sauce and the whole plate and surrounding area deteriorated into a messy chocolatey battleground covered in pieces of fruit and meringue crumbs. Severus was glad he sat at the other end of the table when a stray strawberry coated in something messy flew all the way to Lucius' more ordered plate and splattered his pristine grey robes with chocolate.

~~oo~oo~oo~oo~~

After the meal, the mood was slightly odd as they all filed into the Dark Lord's suite. The boy who now looked no more than three needed another bath before being fit for bed. This time, Ginny, Harry and the twins took care of the task.

Luna walked over to him where he stood next to the door. Hermione and the others sat in the couches by the fireplace as they waited, Hermione and Bill talking quietly about something while Ron and Draco brought out the chess pieces.

"He's ready, you know." The wispy blonde girl peered up at him, smiling vaguely and appearing to check out something over his left shoulder. "We've given him something he's never had, but I think he still knows this is not quite real."

Severus nodded slowly. "I know. He would revert within the week if we stopped dosing him, including growing back most of his years rapidly. This day would be but a dream to him then. Or a nightmare, probably, in his case."

Luna nodded as well and moved to stand beside him, studying the others. "Don't feel bad about it, Professor. You've done him good. Have you talked to her yet about your relationship?"

"What?" He frowned, her sudden change of topics leaving him dizzy.

She looked up at him again with a smile he'd probably describe as patient. "Your relationship. With Hermione. You know? Bossy, bushy hair, Gryffindor?"

He shook his head. "There is no such thing, Miss Lovegood."

"Yet." With that, the infuriating Ravenclaw patted his upper arm and walked off towards the bathroom where it seemed the crew had finished the bath and managed to wrangle the boy into fresh pajamas, probably a set Draco used to wear as a kid, with green dragons and grey Hippogriffs.

The boy walked up to the couch Hermione sat in. "You're Aunt Mynee aren't you?"

"Er, hello Tom, yes I am."

"Thanks for taking me to the park today. It was fun." The Dark Lord smiled at her and she actually gave him a hug.

He stopped in front of Severus. "Hello Uncle Shevrus. I was bad earlier. I'm sorry. You're nice."

Severus coughed. "Thank you, Tom."

The Weasley twins waved at him from the door leading to the bedroom and the young despot lit up in a smile as he went to them. The bedroom was elegant, in dark brown and green with gold details. Severus thought it might have belonged to a Malfoy uncle during one of his first visits to the Manor, when Lucius was a young newly-minted Death Eater and Abraxas Malfoy ran the family business like a Muggle mafia boss.

The young boy climbed up into the huge bed. He seemed to almost disappear among the pillows. "Aunt Luna, read for me?"

Luna skipped over to the bed and produced a picture book from her robes. While Tom settled into bed, Luna sat down in a chair next to it and began reading Each Peach Pear Plum, showing him the pictures as they went.

Feeling out of sorts and out of place, Severus quietly left the room while Luna read to the boy-formerly-known-as the Dark Lord.

~~oo~oo~oo~oo~~

They gathered in Lucius' study where the elves had prepared some snacks and wine or something stronger, while they waited for something to happen. Severus heaved a deep sigh and put his feet up on the footrest, leaning back into the wingback armchair by the window as he held a snifter of Lucius' excellent cognac. Lucius himself was talking to Kingsley and Bill about something Auror-related but Severus was too worn out after the rather busy day to care much.

"Do we go ahead with this, then? Do we finish this?" Draco asked the question everyone was thinking of. He was standing by the fireplace with his arms crossed, looking a bit out of place even in his own home.

Severus looked at the people seated in the couches by the fireplace. An odd group of people if there ever was one, but they'd accomplished more than he ever expected. For a long moment no one spoke.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked. "He'll revert if we stop dosing him, right?"

"Yes, he would revert within the week, and go back to an adult stage even if he'd probably end up a lot younger than he was," Severus said quietly.

Fred, George and Harry nodded.

"But he's been nice so far," Ginny said. "I don't know, can we really do this?"

To Severus' surprise it was Ronald who answered. "He's been nice today but it's probably for the first time ever. Besides, remember when the potions wore off at the park? He was ready to start cursing everyone, it was just that he didn't have a wand."

They all lapsed into silence again. Severus gazed into the fire crackling on the hearth without really seeing the flames. His Mark was gone. For the first time in twenty years, he was free. Or he would be, when it all finished and the threat to Harry's safety was gone. What was he to do with the rest of his life? He stayed at Hogwarts since his oaths demanded it, but maybe there could be something else for him to do?

"All in favour?" Hermione asked.

A chorus of _aye_'s answered her, and Severus found himself more relieved by the outcome than he'd expected to be.

Harry, Ginny, Tonks and Draco snuck off to join Luna again. The others sat by the fireplace, talking quietly, until Lucius suggested a game of poker. Bill wisely declined but the twins, Ronald and Kingsley took him up on it, and Severus watched with some amusement as Lucius' practised card-game cheating clashed with the Weasley twins' own brand of chaotic mischief. Kingsley made it by on skill and luck while Ronald seemed to lose most of the matches.

Hermione had taken the other armchair and had taken off her shoes to be able to pull her feet up under her. She wore a light green dress which set off her tan quite nicely. She had a glass of some liqueur, a sweet creamy one, and the elves had just popped in with some tea for them.

"What are your plans now?" he asked her while idly watching the poker game. Kingsley had just managed to win a few Knuts back but the Twins appeared to be scheming again. They wore identical grins which in Severus' experience was a clear warning sign that they were up to something.

She shot him a smile. "I don't know really. I need to know this is real, first, before making plans."

Clearing his throat he felt suddenly, inexplicably, nervous again. "I hope… that wherever your paths take you, that we may continue to stay in touch?"

She sat up straighter and beamed a smile at him. "I'd want that. Severus."

"Good." Slowly he reached out to her and caught her hand in his, and not until he felt her accepting his touch did he manage to exhale. It all felt so confusing, her smiles, the way she said his name, touching her.

The Malfoys' old pendulum clock struck midnight and the card game seemed to be winding down, with Lucius clearly in second place after one of the twins. Severus was quite certain they'd played as a team, tricking the others by doubling up on the opportunities and most likely testing some illicit products along the way. Still, he was quite impressed with them. They had shown creativity, intelligence and a keen business sense, and anyone who beat a Malfoy when there was money involved was worthy of respect. He decided to approach them with an offer to supervise some of their potions-related product innovations, later, when there was actually something to look forward to in his life. A future, perhaps even involving a certain bushy-haired witch, at least to some as yet undefined extent.

Her hand was warm and soft, smaller than his, with fine bones and long fingers, and very distracting. It felt odd, her touch, the fact that she accepted and seemed to welcome his hand on hers.

"He's gone," Harry said quietly to no one in particular.

Severus hadn't heard him enter, but now he stood just inside the door together with Luna and Ginny. Tonks and Draco had already made it to the couches by the fireplace. Hermione immediately untangled her hand from his and went to hug the dark-haired wizard, still with his signature glasses but now less a scar and looking a bit lost.

"What happened?" Bill asked, having risen from the couch.

Harry took a deep breath but it was Ginny who spoke. "He fell asleep when Luna read to him. He just got smaller and smaller and then, when the clock struck midnight, he simply disappeared."

"Yeah. It's over." Harry walked over to the couches and sank down next to Fred. "He's gone. Without a big battle." He put his head in his hands and started sobbing even as Ginny joined him on the couch, stroking his back.

Severus could understand the conflicting emotions but didn't feel comfortable sharing his feelings with a bunch of Gryffindors. With a nod and a raised eyebrow at Lucius he left the room and left for his assigned chambers.

~~oo~oo~oo~oo~~

He was standing by the window with another glass of Lucius' cognac, looking out over the grounds where the moonlight illuminated the hedges and paths, his mind a thousand miles and many years away. A quiet knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts.

He was both surprised and not at seeing Hermione on the other side. She looked a bit tense, carrying a small bundle of clothes. He let her in, anyway.

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

"Pardon?" Had she really said what he thought she'd said? Why on Earth would she…? Did she want…? Not that he wouldn't mind, of course, but wasn't it a bit too soon?

She blushed. "Not… not like _that_, now. I just… don't want to be alone? Harry is with Ginny tonight, the rest of them were talking about a slumber party in Draco's room and…"

He snorted. "Please, spare me the details. But surely you'd be welcome there?"

She bit her lip and looked up at him. "I'd rather be with you. Unless you don't want me to? I don't want to be in the way."

He nodded and led her into the sitting room where he poured her a small measure of cognac. She settled on the couch and once again kicked off her shoes in order to put her feet up. He took a seat next to her and was surprised to feel her shuffling close enough to lean slightly into his side. She was warm and smelled of something peachy with a hint of jasmine.

"It's over, then?" she said quietly.

"Looks like it, although I suspect Kingsley want to stage a mock battle to use as evidence later. He was talking to the twins about using their fake wands." He might have sniffed her hair, or perhaps it was a pure coincidence that his nose happened to rest on her head when he inhaled.

She huffed a laugh. "What, have Tonks play Death Eaters and let Harry mock kill her off in various heroic battles?"

He nodded slowly and raked a hand through his hair. "Something like that. I hope to stay out of it. You know why we cannot let the public know about these potions, right? The work we've done? They would be horribly dangerous in the wrong hands."

She sat up straight again to better glare at him, making him miss the contact. "It's not fair! All your research, and you can't publish it? What you did was brilliant, the way you combined those potions and reinvented them to something way beyond what they were originally!"

Her ire made him smile, especially when it was indignation at his behalf rather than at him. It felt odd to have someone defending him, but in a good way.

They fell silent again, watching the fire and sipping Lucius' expensive cognac. She'd shifted so that she leaned against the armrest and had placed her feet near his thigh. He took them on his lap and started kneading them, making her eyes flutter shut. Her sighs of bliss made something flutter in his stomach. This was… nice. Yes. He wondered idly if there was a good way to make this happen again, or if it would be a one-time occurrence. After all, it had never happened before in his life, so perhaps that meant it was something that occurred once every forty years or so?

"Did we do the right thing?" she asked suddenly, eyes seeking his.

"Yes." The word fell from his lips without hesitation. "You do recall that only two days ago he was ordering another raid on those who dared to marry a Muggleborn? He had Travers and Avery Crucio'd last week for failure to bring him Potter. No, Hermione. This day could easily have been a large scale battle here at the Manor instead of a day full of fun at an amusement park. No one died that didn't deserve it, Death Eaters didn't invade Hogwarts, the Ministry hasn't fallen, your friends are alive. All of them. Don't feel bad for doing him a favour by showing him happiness for a day. As Luna said, he was ready." He went for his glass again and knocked back the rest of the cognac before returning to stare at the fire, not seeing it.

A soft kiss to his temple shook him out of his musings.

"I'm tired. Where's the bathroom?" She'd risen from the couch and was stretching, her breasts straining against the front of the dress she wore.

"Through the door on the right. I'll just set up the couch then," he muttered, a bit put out at having to give up his bed.

She stopped and twirled to face him. "No! I didn't mean to throw you out of your own bed, couldn't we share? I'm sure it's wide enough." She bit her lip again and blushed. "I don't mean… not if you don't want to, of course, then I'll take the couch."

He took a deep breath and rose, stepping close to her. His hand rose on its own volition to stroke her cheek, and to his surprise she leaned into his touch. Warm, soft skin under his fingers.

"No, Hermione. That sounds fine. More than fine."

She smiled at him, a bit shyly, before disentangling herself. Halfway to the bathroom she stopped and turned towards him. "Did you mean what you said?"

"What? When? Probably?"

"About staying in touch… or did you mean something else? Something… more?"

"Did you?" he parried, to gain some time to think.

She blushed again and nodded.

Taking a deep breath he found his answer. "Yes, Hermione. I'd like… more, as you said. But not tonight. Now that I finally have a future to look forward to, I will need to figure out what to do with it. As do you. There is no need to rush."

She frowned at him while she mulled things over. "Alright, that makes sense. But don't take too long."

"Duly noted, Miss Granger."

She merely giggled at him and went to brush her teeth, or whatever it was girls did in the bathroom.

~~oo~oo~oo~oo~~

"Are you coming?" Hermione asked him from the bed. She'd managed to change into a set of loose shorts and a t-shirt with some Muggle cartoon figure on the front, and had quickly ducked under the covers.

After sorting himself out and dousing the lights with a wave of his hand he gingerly settled near the other edge of the bed, keeping his hands on the covers and wondering to himself however he was to sleep if he couldn't sprawl like he was used to. After all, sharing a bed with someone was something that never had happened to him. He could hear her quiet breathing over on the other side.

"Severus?"

"Hm?"

"My feet are cold."

Grousing he shuffled closer and she assisted by putting her icy feet on his calves, her back pressed against his side. He hissed in surprised at the touch. "Woman! What did you do with those feet, dip them in a bucket of ice?"

"They're not so bad," she protested. "You're warm. You can share."

Some time later, when her feet had thawed, he found himself spooning her, an arm tucked around her waist and the other under her neck.

"This is nice," she murmured, half asleep already.

"Hmm." He could only agree. Her scent — and hair — invaded his every breath, he could feel her heartbeat under his hand, and her breaths through his chest.

"G'night Sev'rus."

"Night, love."

Not until she was snoring lightly did his own words register in his brain, causing him to sit up bolt upright with a muttered curse. She pulled him down again, and he fell asleep with her hair doing its best to suffocate him. If this was what the future held, he thought fuzzily, then he wouldn't mind seeing more of it.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

**A/N: ***Beauxbatons mess: of course the Purebloods don't have Eton mess, right?

This is the end of the road but an epilogue will follow. Thanks to all who have followed, fav'd, commented and whatnot!


	8. Post Scriptum: Results

**Post Scriptum: In Which We Evaluate The Result**

Severus barged into his lab just in time to hear the timer charm go off, indicating that he needed to add the puffer-fish eyes to the large copper cauldron that simmered in the middle of the room. He added the eyes, stirred four times clockwise and once anti-clockwise, turned the heat down a bit and reset the timer for the next stage before checking his other potions. He had an order for an advanced Spattergroit cure from St Mungo's, another order from a private and well-paying customer for a non-addictive sleeping draught, two experimental potions to check for the Weasley twins, and a grandfather clock to check for curses and Dark magic at the request of the Department of Mysteries. In short, he was happily busy, but he had still made the time to go to Diagon Alley to retrieve his order from the Goblin jeweller at Horizont Alley, just off Diagon Alley.

Everything seemed to be in order, as usual, and he turned down the lights as he left again. Sometimes he still felt as if it was all a dream, this new life he was living four years after the War ended. Running his own business from his own cottage in north Dorset, far from a thousand-year-old castle in the depths of Scotland filled with dunderhead children.

He stayed at Hogwarts for two more years after the Dark Lord's fall, before starting his own potions and magic consultancy business. Among his first clients were the Weasley twins, and it was with their requests for potions and research ideas that his business could take off, their orders bringing in a lot of gold to his vault. The first year on his own had been difficult, but he'd still made it through without going into debt.

Shutting the door behind him he took a deep breath, looking out over the courtyard while fingering the small box in his pocket. It felt surreal that all of it was his. The main cottage building was flanked by the lab on one side, once a garage slash outhouse, and another building on the other side which was currently not in use but had once been used for storage and excess guests. All three buildings were whitewashed with slate roofs and dark brown window frames and doors. Lilac bushes and various flowers lined the flowerbeds next to the buildings with a stretch of gravel linking the three entrances, and a lawn stretched out between the buildings down to the far end of his property delineated by an old hedge. He'd put in a Potions garden along the gavel end of the lab building, with some help from Pomona and to his surprise also from Longbottom.

While he walked the few steps to the main building his thoughts swirled back to that time at the Manor and just afterwards, the beginnings of his new life.

Albus had been a bit put out, to put it lightly, when Severus announced that the Dark Lord was dead and gone. Severus had simply mentioned it in response to a question about upping Hogwarts' security during the staff meeting before the start of term, right after their weekend at the Manor.

It was Minerva who had raised the question. "But what about Hogsmeade weekends, Albus? There are Death Eaters about. Surely the students need a bit more protection than two accompanying teachers?"

"Whatever for, Minerva?" Severus had interjected.

She looked at him as if he had grown an extra head, or a turkey was roosting on his head. Or something like that. "You-know-who, Severus."

He raised an eyebrow at her and took a sip of his tea. "No, I don't, as a matter of fact. He's gone and won't ever come back. The Death Eaters are in the hands of the Aurors."

The room had erupted into chaos, with his colleagues shrieking questions, laughing, crying, or just plain disbelieving him. Albus happened to fall in the latter category. In the end the old goat only accepted his words as truth after asking Kingsley to confirm them.

Severus had also managed to get confirmation that a potential Horcrux had been destroyed at Hogwarts over the weekend. Apparently there had been a bit of an explosion in a rarely-used corridor on the seventh floor, and the elves were able to retrieve a sparkly diadem from the room. It shone brightly but a few spells confirmed that it had recently been used as a receptable for some very Dark spells indeed, but that it wasn't tainted any longer. Albus had been very surprised to see it and confirmed it to be Rowena's old diadem, and it was placed next to Godric's sword in the Headmaster's office.

His thoughts strayed to Hermione as he entered through the large, rustic kitchen where Winky had cleaned and polished everything until it shone. The elf had joined him when he left Hogwarts, saying she had decided he was her new master, and that was that. He'd found her to be helpful with tending the Potions garden, and also with reminding him to eat regularly even if he complained about her interruptions.

Hermione had spent a few months after the war travelling, first a trip to Australia with her parents and then with Harry through Wizarding Europe.

There had been letters. So many letters. He had been wary at first, when the memory of her as a student had been a bit too fresh, assuming she'd find someone more worthy of her once she was out in the real world, away from Hogwarts. When she hadn't wavered he'd reluctantly succumbed to the complete infatuation he'd been nurturing ever since that summer. It was terrifying and exhilarating and completely new to him, the way thoughts of _her_ snuck in on him at every inopportune opportunity. When he acknowledged the feelings to himself he also opened the door to all those old fears, insecurities and doubts that always followed him, telling him that he would never be enough, that she would leave him, that he could never make her happy.

Luckily those thoughts didn't manage to gain enough traction for him to do something stupid, as he was wont to do. Hermione had sent him a bracelet bought from a magical shoppe in Florence. It was a simple black leather band with silver thread forming an almost Celtic knot pattern, with her having the other half of the pair although hers was brown instead of black. If the wearer of one of the bracelets thought about the person wearing the other bracelet while touching it with their hand, the linked bracelet would warm up as long as the feelings were positive. They had never gone more than half a day without one of the bracelets heating up, causing the other to respond in kind.

The cottage was a good size for him, for them. Half of the ground floor was taken up by a sitting room where he quickly installed floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, while the other half had the kitchen, storage areas and a small bathroom. The sitting room was open all the way up to the ceiling beam trusses, with the bedrooms and a larger bath over the kitchen half. The stairs to the upper half were accessible from the living room, ending in a small interior balcony overlooking the sitting room. He called for Winky to bring him some tea as he settled in his favourite armchair with a few Potions journals, but his thoughts kept returning to the witch that had captivated him so, and his fingers kept returning to the small box in his pocket.

The first time they'd met again was for Christmas. He'd felt terribly awkward and unsure about it all. Letters were one thing, but the distance had added time for his insecurities to sneak back in. He hadn't expected to see her until after the holidays, what with her being busy at the Burrow and with her own family, but there she was, standing in the Great Hall an early Sunday morning, the day after the students had left for their break. She'd lit up when she spotted him and half ran down the Hall to the staff table before her steps faltered just by the dais and he could see the same uncertainties reflected in her eyes. Without thought he was out of his chair and strode to meet her, crushing her to himself in a hard hug just as she rose on her tiptoes to reach for his lips. He lost himself in the kiss until he heard Hooch's wolf whistles and broke away to glare at his colleague. Luckily no one else was there and Hooch just grinned and gave them both a thumbs up before Severus led Hermione down to his quarters, away from nosey colleagues.

"I came here first," she confessed and smiled at him. "I missed you, Severus."

He kissed her again, at a loss for words. No one had ever came first to him before, or told him that they missed him.

She stayed with him that night, in his bed, although nothing happened between them. Still, it had been nice to have her there, and to be able to share some meals in the privacy of his quarters without being under the scrutiny of the Headmaster, the Deputy, and all the other nosey busybodies. She left after breakfast the next day, to see her parents for a few days.

Both of them had been invited to the Burrow on Christmas Eve for dinner, along with a few others from the Order such as Kingsley, Tonks, Albus and Minerva. It had been slightly stressful to try to hide their newfound… whatever it was… from the others, but neither of them wanted the scrutiny of Molly Weasley or Minerva or Albus. The twins did a synchronised eyebrow waggle at them, Luna smiled and offered her congratulations and Tonks grinned and gave him a thumbs-up but those gestures were, to his surprise, both genuine and not completely unwelcome.

He stole a kiss when she left for her parents' home. She'd spend Christmas day with them, and so he had already given her a gift when they met at Hogwarts.

Minerva had pulled him aside during their Christmas lunch the next day but to his surprise it wasn't to berate him. She'd forced him into a hug, said she was happy for him — for them both — and that he'd better not muck this up or she'd shed fur all over his robes for the next few years. Albus didn't say anything. The extra-large bag of Muggle candy he had brought for the Headmaster had certainly helped with keeping the old wizard distracted.

He had returned to his quarters after lunch, keen to settle in with the latest issue of Potions Monthly and a tumbler of Lucius' Firewhisky. An hour or so later he was disturbed by a knock at the door. To his surprise it wasn't Minerva, or Hooch, or Pomona asking him to join them in their traditional Christmas drinking game. Instead, Hermione stood there, nervously biting her lip.

"I told my parents I was invited to the Burrow and I told the Weasleys I wanted to stay home for Christmas," she admitted just before he caught her in a crushing embrace.

He frowned. "Why would you do that?"

She pushed lightly against his chest to better look at him. "To be with you, of course? Who else would I want to spend my Christmas with?"

They'd spent the rest of Christmas day in front of the fire, reading, talking and just enjoying the closeness. For Severus, it had been as close to perfect as he'd ever come. She'd given him some Potions texts from Italy along with a new research journal, and he'd given her a necklace with an emerald in a silver setting.

She'd stayed for a few days in his quarters and they were slowly taking their physical relationship further but to his surprise he was content with the kisses and the way she couldn't resist touching him whenever she could, rather than trying to push her boundaries too fast. It was surprisingly intimate, the way she put her feet on his thighs as they read, or kissed his cheek in passing, or leaned against him when he stood close by.

Severus looked up from the latest issue of Potions Monthly when the door to his cottage opened and shut with slightly more force than what was necessary. His smirk broadened into a half smile when he heard her irate mutterings as she shed her work robes and bag.

"… can you imagine that! No Mr Winkles, I won't condone a test with live newts added to the Ministry's water supply just to make people jump higher! Oh, hello Severus." She saw him in the chair and went over to kiss his nose. He reached out a hand to her.

"Indeed. It sounds like your day was a tad more eventful than mine."

Hermione smiled and kissed his cheek again, making his heart swell. "Did you finish the order for France?"

"Yes, no problems there."

He fingered the small box in his pocket, again. It was perfect, and he was nervous.

"Severus?"

"Hm?" He rose from the chair and caught her in a hug, reaching down for a kiss, as a distraction to one or both of them.

"You're not listening to me! What's that in your pocket?"

He took a deep breath.

The Malfoys had arranged a large ball for New Years that year, wanting to celebrate their freedom from the despot who had taken over their home and Gringotts vault for so long. Over three hundred people were invited, including the whole Weasley clan and all the Hogwarts staff, but Severus only had eyes for his witch who had been radiant in a green and gold dress. By the end of that evening, no one could doubt that Hermione Granger was his witch. She hadn't left his side but for the occasional nature's call, and that kiss they'd shared when the clock struck midnight was in no way chaste.

He had expected her to continue her travels, but instead she'd stayed with him for a few weeks as term started up, saying she owed him two weeks' worth of grading after their bet at the park. Kingsley and Lucius had also approached her about starting an internship at the Department for Magical Law Enforcement, in the Investigations and Research group, and so she got herself set up in a tiny flat just off Diagon Alley and started working in February.

They'd made it through another year and a half before he quit Hogwarts and both of them moved to the cottage he'd bought. She'd moved on from the internship after a few months and took a junior position in the same group, but now after three and a half years she seemed a bit fed up with her position and lack of advancement.

He flinched when the box jumped out of his pocket. This wasn't in the plan, not at all. After a heroic dive to catch it before it sprung open he found himself right in front of her, and pushed up on one knee. Now what to say? All his carefully rehearsed words suddenly eluded him.

"Hermione, you are the light of my day. It's your smile that is the reason I get up in the mornings. Living with you has been more than I ever dreamt of, despite the hairs in the sink, the way you hog the blanket and leave half-read books on every possible surface. I wish… I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Would you… will you be my wife?"

She'd started to draw breath for a protest when he mentioned the blanket hogging but then her face split up in a huge smile. "Yes, yes Severus! Only you. Only ever you."

Letting out a shaky breath he rose to stand, taking her hand in his. The box easily opened to reveal the platinum ring within, with a diamond in the centre and small emeralds along the band. She watched with large eyes as he put the ring on her finger and it resized to fit her.

"I love you, Hermione Granger." His lips sought hers for a sweet kiss. They were still as exhilarating as that first time.

She looked up at him, her right hand tangling in his hair, a big smile on her face. "I love you, Severus. Always."

He smiled then, a real smile, and laced his fingers through hers. Whatever life would choose to throw at them, from that point on, they'd face it together.


End file.
